Thursday 28 June 2007

We interrupt our broadcast....

Sorry, no Thursday Thirteen today... am still struggling with major head cold.

A word to the wise... probably not a good idea to take 2 antihistamines when you're not used to them... it can result in feeling a lot like this...



Normal transmissions will resume as soon as I return from la la land...

Wednesday 27 June 2007

Birthday Meme... tagged by Chicken Scratch

I got tagged by Xine the other day, just haven't had a chance to play yet!

Here are the rules: You go to http://www.wikipedia.org/ and type in your birthday (only month & day). Then you write down 3 events, 2 births, 1 holiday, and then you tag 5 friends.

Me, being the wild and crazy non-conformist I am - have added some comments of my own!

MARCH 10

EVENTS:

1. 1831: The French Foreign Legion is established by King Louis-Phillippe to support his war in Algeria. Oh.. I love a man in uniform... Beau Geste, anyone?

2. 1876: Alexander Graham Bell makes the first telephone call by saying "Mr Watson, come here, I want to see you" Had to pick this one... considering what a phone girl I am... Call me, Call me, now....

3. 1982: Syzygy: all 9 planets align on the same side of the Sun. How cool would this be? Will need to check out the astrological ramifications of something like this... this was the year I turned 21, and on arriving home for a quiet birthday dinner was told my 30 year old cousin had died of a heart attack.




BIRTHS:

1. 1903 - Leon Bismark "Bix" Beiderbecke - jazz musician

2. 1958 - Sharon Stone - actress. When I once announced at bowling that Sharon Stone and I shared a birthday, my nephew, 14 at the time, announced sotto voce, "I know whose birthday party I'd rather be going to"... which had the group laughing out loud, and Boomerang Boy telling the brat to run for his life before I caught him...

HOLIDAY:

1. Doctor's Day - Venzuela Couldn't find much information on Doctor's Day. Here in Victoria, every couple of years, the Labour Day holiday is celebrated on March 10, and that long weekend was also the Moomba festival - home of the great Birdman Rally. As a child I used to think the festival was all for my benefit. What was believed to be an aboriginal word for 'lets get together and have fun' it has since been discovered that Moomba is vernicular for 'up your bum'

Tagging:

1. Sheila - Aubirdwoman
2. The Cats Mum
3. Starrlight
4. Gabriella
5. Dr. Bill

Tuesday 26 June 2007

Unconscious Mutterings #9 ... I saw and you think...?

Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self. Each week ten words are posted at Unconscious Mutterings to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind. If you want to have a go register by clicking the logo at left above or the link included in this paragraph.

  1. Compulsion :: Blogging

  2. Spiritual :: Growth

  3. Spray :: Bottle

  4. Compatibility :: Difficult

  5. Pursuit :: Trivial

  6. Fake :: Boobs

  7. Mobile :: Phone

  8. Ceremony :: Solstice

  9. Ribbons :: Girlie

  10. Mozart :: Here Wolfie...

Sorry, not great today... sniffles developed into full blown head cold... mind of mush...

Sunday 24 June 2007

See I really couldn't sing, I could never really sing, what I couldn't do was... sing!


Today was first choir rehearsals, and I'm reminded of a conversation with a friend awhile back.

Frou Frou: Singing and dancing are like sex, you don't need to be good at it, to enjoy yourself.

Him: Yes, but the worse you are, the harder it is for others to enjoy themselves.

After today, all I can say is I MUST BE A DUD SHAG! Wildly enthusiastic, just 3 beats behind, sigh...


Seriously, had the bestest time, am still never going to be comfortable singing solo, I managed to hold my own in the group situation. Only difficult bit is a series of oh oh ah, oh oh ah, oh ahs, that reminded me of funk tap and my cross-eyed struggle to maintain the rhythm ... I was oh ahing when everyone else was oh ohing, and only got worse when the Choir Leader tried to help me.

For those about to rock, we salute you...


One of the coolest blogs I read is Hear Comes a Storm... the life and times of Starrlight and her Kidlet... so it was a lovely surprise to have Starr award me a Rockin' Girl Blogger award.

She said: I Love her posts. She has a quirky sense of humor and her Thursday Thirteens are a favorite and early stop for me. And how can I not love a girl who when asked for a word association for "riding" gave "crop" as an answer?

Well considering she makes me laugh out loud, often, and she has great taste in music, the feeling is most definitely mutual. If you haven't checked her out yet, rush over and do so now!

The rules of the award, are that I must now anoint 5 more Rockin' Girl Bloggers, and the difficulty was limiting it to 5, but here goes:

Rhian/ Crowwoman
: How can I not pick my girlie Rhi... she has opened me up to the most amazing world, she is funny, just a little bit odd, and righteous, and I love her to bits!

Miscellany: One of the first blogs I ever read, and still one of my favourites. Mez writes always with humour and compassion, but often creates interesting debates about the state of the world as we know it.

Julia: She writes amazing poetry, and interesting posts about the writing process, at the same time she loves movies, yeah! and her stories about her family and her daily life is always fascinating.

Have the T-Shirt: Oh, I love reading her slice of life posts, about her childhood, about her boys, and her relationship with B. Also love her regular posts on T-shirt Google searches that stumble across her blog... too funny.

Xine: - Queen of the short but powerful blog post. Her writing is just magical, and she has the best linkage between words and images that I've ever seen.

Am going to cheat a little, as there are way more than 5 Rockin' Girls in my book... I'd also recommend that you check out Dewey at The Hidden Side of a Leaf (great book reviews), Miscellaneous Adventures of an Aussie Mum, Savannah, Red's Pages.

And as I'm not a huge fan of gender specific awards, I can't overlook the boys... check out The Dog's Name, Fallen Scorpio, 2 Blog or Not to Blog and Sheepdip (except Phil appears to be AWOL at present, reading through his archives is still good value)

Thursday 21 June 2007

Thursday Thirteen #8... A Hazy Shade of Winter


Today is the Winter Solstice here in the Southern Hemisphere so I bring you 13 things about the Winter Solstice.

One: Solstice is derived from two Latin words: "sol" meaning sun, and "sistere," to cause to stand still. The winter solstice -- the first day of winter, when it is the shortest day and the longest night. From this point on, each day will progressively lengthen till the summer solstice on December 21st

Two: The Winter Solstice can also be referred as Jul, Yule, Yuletide, Midwinter, Feill Fionnain, Alban Arthan

Three: The earliest recorded Australian Midwinter bonfire was lit in Moonta, the night leading into June 24, 1862 by Cornish immigrants carrying on the European Midsummer tradition. The Midwinter bonfire holiday also began in Burra soon after. Currently, Yulefest is observed by various Australians, often starting on a weekend in late June.

Four: In Ancient Greece, the winter solstice ritual was called Lenaea, the Festival of the Wild Women. In the forest, a man or bull representing the harvest god, Dionysus, was torn to pieces and eaten by Maenads. Later in the ritual, a baby, representing Dionysus reborn, was presented. By Classical Greece, the human sacrifice had been replaced by that of a goat and the women's role had changed to that of funeral mourners and observers of the birth.

Five: In celtic tradition, the solstices and equinoxes all occur at about midpoint in each season. While the Solstices were not as important to the ancient celts as the major fire festivals; Lughnasadh (August 1); Beltane (May Day, May 1); Imbolc (February 1- Bridgit); and Samhain (November 1, Halloween), many believe there was celebration. Of the solstices and equinoxes, the Winter Solstice was the most important, since it marked the rebirth of the sun after the shortest day.

Six: Soyalangwul is the winter solstice ceremony of the Zuni and the Hopitu Shinumu, "The Peaceful Ones", also known as the Hopi Indians. It is held on December 21st, the shortest day of the year. The main purpose of the ritual is to ceremonially bring the sun back from its long winter slumber. It also marks the beginning of another cycle of the Wheel of the Year, and is a time for purification.

Seven: The solstice commemorates the death of the Holly King identified with the wren bird (symbolizing the old year and the shortened sun) at the hands of his son and successor, the robin redbreast Oak King (the new year and the new sun that begins to grow)

Eight: Other deities associated with the solstice are Lucina, Frey, Nerthus, Woden, Herne, Atthar, Sunna, Sul, Amaterasu, Isis, Osiris, Apollo

Nine: In the present day, some see this as a good time to make reflect on the last 12 months and meditate and make affirmations for the coming year

Ten: On Monday night, a group of friends will get together and meditate on the Winter Solstice. We will each bring something from the earth, either food or foliage and a candle/s that symbolises what we would like to bring forth for the coming year.

Eleven: Candle Colours (based on chakras): Violet/Purple - Self knowledge, spiritual awareness, Indigo (deep blue) Intuition, the unconscious, physic powers, Blue - Self Expression, communication, speech, wisdom, Green or Pink - Love/ Self Love, Yellow - Self Worth, Curiosity, connecting the ego and intellect, Orange -Self Respect, the freedom to be yourself, remove inhibitions, social and independence Red - Self Awareness, Connecting to your physical self particularly your sexuality, strong connection with the earth

Twelve: I went shopping for candles today, and found myself buying a pink, a green and a blue candle. Having found before that on the day I suddenly feel a need for a different colour, I'm covering some bases, and will take all three with me, and possible a Purple one as well and decide on the night

Thirteen: I am looking forward to this night... it starts the beginning of another term of meditations, having only met sporadically over the last few months, the group of 6 as a whole decided that we need to meet more regularly. I'm not sure whether it is the meditation itself or the love and support I feel from this group of remarkable women, but it always feels like sanctuary when I walk through the door, and while meditating is often difficult as I struggle to switch my brain off... I always feel profoundly altered, calm and energised at the same time.

"And from that day on, we've honored and celebrated it. It's a time of rebirth for our wishes and our dreams. A time of coming together in joy and peace. It's the shortest day of the year and the longest night. But on this special night a new light, a new chance, is born to us all. So it's a time for miracles and goodwill towards all living creatures. That's why the Winter's Solstice means so much and touches us all so deeply"... Gabrielle, Xena Warrior Princess


Tuesday 19 June 2007

My string of pearls...

"I believe the nicest and sweetest days are not those on which anything
very splendid or wonderful or exciting happens but
just those that bring simple little pleasures,
following one another softly, like pearls slipping off a string"
Anne Shirley, Anne of Avonlea, Lucy Maud Montgomery


Sorry, I haven't been around much... stuff happening, all small stuff, but stuff... so a quick catch up of random things from me...

* I've packed up my office as they are renovating, was told we needed to be out by this coming Friday, and then it was changed to end of the day Monday (yesterday) and then when I arrived at work told we had an hour! So, ironically, as the Safety Advisor, I am working of a tiny round table, just enough room for my PC.. working out of boxes, cheek by jowl with a colleague... just as well we like each other!

* Have had both high brow and low brow recreational activities, both organised by NPNP. The highbrow, saw the Bell Shakespeare production of Othello last week, was excellent, but we were sitting so close to the stage we got to see the actors spraying spit all over each other as they articulated!

* The lowbrow was NPNP coming over for what was supposed to be a trip out to the pub for dinner and a few drinks and maybe a check-out of the local talent, but ended up with both of us sitting in our tracky-dacks eating turkish bread, dip, potato chips and Mars bar slice, while getting ever so slightly inebriated (I slowly slid off my chair at one stage!). Again irony, forgoing the opportunity to meet men while we lamented how hard it is to meet men! Though NPNP has decided she needs to meet Mr Darcy or was that Colin Firth?

* I've had more alcohol in the last fortnight then I've had in the last 12 months... but have behaved myself (sliding off my chair not withstanding)

* More bloggy serendipity... our Public Affairs department asked us to review a draft of a handout for Careers Night and they'd changed all our names. I said I wanted to pick my own name, and my Manager said, you should be Roxanne... or Roxie... with that little husky voice of yours. And then I go to Silver Expressions and see their Stripper Name Flash Fiction post and see my stripper name is Roxie Glitter Bomb!

* I am very nervous as choir rehearsals start on Sunday... my manager said to me yesterday, I didn't know you could sing... to which I replied, I can't! But I couldn't tap dance either, and that didn't stop me...

* Am listening to the rehearsal CD so much that I am now dreaming some of these songs. Weird, almost hallucinogenic dreams, that involve friends and work colleagues tribal dancing in various states of semi-nakedness...

* While I am feeling emotionally well, I'm feeling physical unwell... a hovering cold, sneezy, stuffed up, headachy and tired, even blinking hurts at present. My throat is scratchy and I'm so cold... bed is the warmest place to be... so that's where I'm heading...g'night!








Which Anne of Green Gables character are you?




You are most like Anne Shirley. You love to day dream, read romance novels, and TALK! Yet, you are starving for love and attention, that is, till you come to Green Gables and meet Matthew, Marilla, and Mrs. Lynde.
Take this quiz!








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Unconscious Mutterings #8 ... I saw and you think...?

Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self. Each week ten words are posted at Unconscious Mutterings to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind. If you want to have a go register by clicking the logo at left above or the link included in this paragraph.

  1. Riding :: Crop

  2. Actress :: Bishop #

  3. Flowers :: from my love

  4. Making :: Whoopee!

  5. Robot :: Klaatu ##

  6. Enjoy :: Yourself

  7. Identify :: Empathise

  8. 22 :: Catch

  9. Busy :: Busy

  10. Forward :: Floozie

# When I told the Nature Boy recently that he had an oral fixation, he said, so said the actress to the bishop, which made me laugh... oh... and the reason for my statement about his oral fixation is 'cause every time I see him he's either eating or drinking (get your mind out of the gutter!) Though to be fair, I think I'm guttercrawling a bit considering some of my responses - you bring the flowers, I'll bring the riding crop and we can make whoopee!

## From The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) great sci-fi movie... scarily relevant today... The universe grows smaller every day, and the threat of aggression by any group, anywhere, can no longer be tolerated. There must be security for all, or no one is secure. Now, this does not mean giving up any freedom, except the freedom to act irresponsibly...

Thursday 14 June 2007

Thursday Thirteen #7... the 13 Wants of V...



There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it
Oscar Wilde



Well, I've played the "What Does V... need?" game, as have lots of others... but I was curious to see "What Does V... Want?" To play along, simply type "(your name) wants" into Google's search engine and be amazed, astonished and astounded...so without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you the 13 Wants of V...

One: V... wants to be fatally gorgeous... aren't I already?

Two: V... wants to be a duck... been there, done that... and have the feathered arse to prove it... A fatally gorgeous duck I was too... tap dancing on stage to Singing in the Rain... and no, you can't see the photos.

Three: V... wants to do gospel. She is the only person who can sing the telephone book in Swahili and make it sound good! ... um, yeah right, but I'll soon be able to tell you, as I start rehearsals next week for the Melbourne Millennium Chorus, and am fully expecting them to look at me kindly, while they offer me a full refund and show me politely to the door...

Four: V... wants to be great and to receive the love and applause of an adoring audience... singing quietly... I have confidence, in confidence alone... besides which you see, I have confidence in me... oh crap!

Five: V... wants to go out tomorrow night ... yeah, she does, and she is, have been invited to go eat Spanish food with some lovely lads and lassies from work ... (I know that sounds funny, scottish folk eating spanish food.. but I kid you not I am going to a Scots pub famous for its paella and sangria!)

Six: V... wants to write now... well, actually not right now, maybe later... am so tired... (oh, I've used that line before... but it was when someone asked for something else!)

Seven: V... wants to sleep now... see I told you...

Eight: V... wants to spend every day as if there was no tomorrow. Although Vikki may seem immature and childish she in fact is very wise, intelligent and caring... couldn't resist adding the following sentence... see, I iz all grown up, so pfft!

Nine: V... wants some men with big feet... well you know what they say about big feet! All the better to help me with item eleven! Though the plural men has got me worried... truly, just one man would do...

Ten: V... wants a hero to idolize and adore, someone to wholeheartedly admire and be proud of... with really, really big feet!

Eleven: V... wants risky sex... I think that means the sex where her mum says "I'm just going to get some milk" and you have to have REALLY fast sex on the kitchen table before she gets back... I swear, that was the actual following sentence... sex, sex, it all comes down to sex ...

Twelve: V... wants it all - love, sex, art, sex, life, passion, - all that plus the butterflies in the stomach feeling of a new romance! ... who me? Well, if you insist...

And finally... to end on a serious and cultured note:

Thirteen: V... wants her name changed to Tricksy McF@#ckalot ... I am speechless...

Wednesday 13 June 2007

My wish isn't to mean everything to everyone but something to someone... unknown

I've been studying the tarot now for about 4 years, but will often ask my teacher to do a reading for me, either when I have a concern about something and I want some guidance, or just as a bit of a check about what's around me and whats ahead.

I had a reading last week... not that there is anything wrong at present, just wanting a bit of a barometer check, life is good and I wanted to see if that would be reflected in the reading (which it was!)

I'll write about the reading in more detail at another time but as usual the question of relationships and romance came up, and as usual, I was told there was someone out there for me, but the universe wasn't going to send him, until I was ready...

HEAH, I'm ready! Really, truly, ready!

Impatiently, and a bit antsy, and really, really frustratingly ready!


And then, as usual, I read the weekly postings on Post Secrets. There is something immensely powerful about viewing and reading these images and words, knowing there are people behind these stories of joy and pain and loss and loneliness. There is usually something that resonates strongly with me, and this week there was this...

I keep thinking back to that silly Fortune Cookie Generator - better to have lost a lover than have loved a loser... and I think never again... happy to have relationships end, because they need to end... but...

I realised I am ready, truly ready, for the first time in my life, because for the first time in my life, I believe that I am a weird, amazing, remarkable woman... and it's ok for me to be weird, amazing and remarkable... and he, whoever he is, will come along when he is ready... and I'm happy to wait...

There might be a bit of antsy, toe-tapping, scanning the horizon, mumbling under my breath, hurry up already's in my future... but that's ok... need to stay vigilant, so I can recognise him when he comes...

"In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from
one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people"...Judy Garland

Tuesday 12 June 2007

My archetypes all have seperation anxiety...

Like Savannah, I too love doing online profile tests... as if you couldn't tell from the majority of blog posts this week. Though I realised what other bloggers have said, it's harder to find things to write about when life is good! In the meantime, I'm having fun doing various online profiles, including the test that Savannah blogged about a mindset profile at ActualMe.

It tells me that I'm a Motivational Visionary...Ideas and options are what you're always creating and doing... thinking and processing is what you love to do most. Yes, you're a holistic thinker that is always asking the question "How?"

Your thinking process is mostly intuitive and analogic. However, you do use facts and logic to back up your intuitive thought processing.

Change, particularly in ideas, is never-ending for you. There is no timeline or deadline for your accomplishments. That is why in school or at work you procrastinate until the last moment to finish a paper, an assignment, or a project.

Every so often paradoxical thoughts attract you. You're attracted to the unknown more than the known. You're drawn to what's unusual about something rather than what is ordinary about it. What other people see as facts, you may see as shades of facts or possibilities of different facts. Your world is the world of possibilities and visions.

You're an excellent communicator with individuals and small groups of three, no more than four people. You listen attentively to what people say, how they say it and what feelings are generated. You have an unusual awareness for what is happening to the person and others that are participating. It's almost like a sixth sense. Sometimes, people distance themselves from you because of this sensitivity and your feedback.

Every so often, you'll be inspired enough to positively motivate people to follow you as their leader. Your words will flow fluidly and touch the hearts and minds of those listening. However, you should know that, once the mission and goals have been accomplished, you're quite satisfied to return to being the thinker and sensitive communicator.

Sending this on to some friends, one of the reminded me of the Myers Briggs Type Indicators, based on Jung's archetypes. And I did the test again today and came out an ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling Percieving). Funnily enough, my memory of the last time I done one of these tests I was an introvert!

"She’s just not my archetype really"

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centred and master the ability of followng through.

ENFPs take their relationships very seriously, but also approach them with a childlike enthusiams and energy. They seek and demand authenticity and depth in their personal relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort into making things work out. They are warm, considerate, affirming, nurturing, and highly invested in the health of the relationship. They have excellent interpersonal skills, and are able to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be. Energetic and effervescent, the ENFP is sometimes smothering in their enthusiasm, but are generally highly valued for their genuine warmth and high ideals.

The full portrait of an ENFP is here. And it seems very reflective of me, at this point in my life. And it's interesting that will all the possibilities opening up to me at present with this blog and through my interactions with both new friends and old, that the possible career paths for an ENFP include a psychologist, teacher, counsellor, writer/ journalist, all things that have been suggested to me as possible careers lately, though I did scoff at the suggestion that I would make a good psychologist/ counsellor - a bit like physician heal thyself!

"Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother" - Robin Williams


Wow - just found this test online and it too says I am an ENFP! Sex - playful - oh yes, best fun you can have without laughing... though laughing is always good... Holding on to bad relationships? - ah .. let me see... anyone want to say Boomerang Boy?

Your Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer

In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond.
For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate.

Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner.
However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad.

Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

Sunday 10 June 2007

Unconscious Mutterings #7 ... I saw and you think...?

Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self. Each week ten words are posted at Unconscious Mutterings to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind. If you want to have a go register by clicking the logo at left above or the link included in this paragraph.

  1. Acoustic :: Guitar

  2. Sanity :: Who me?

  3. Mambo :: Papa loves...

  4. Session :: Therapy

  5. Hound :: of the Baskerville

  6. Cat :: on a Hot Tin Roof (that's me at present... sigh)

  7. Coward :: Howard

  8. Trunk :: Tree

  9. Hold me :: close

  10. Psychological :: damage

Saturday 9 June 2007

My Mother told me... you better shop around...

I found this at Starrlight's blog, Here Comes A Storm... and couldn't resist...




The Window Shopper
Random Gentle Love Dreamer (RGLD)

Loving, hopeful, open. Likely to carry on an romance from afar. You are The Window Shopper.

You take love as opportunities come, which can lead to a high-anxiety, but high-flying romantic life. You're a genuinely sweet person, not saccharine at all, so it's likely that the relationships you have had and will have will be happy ones. You've had a fair amount of love experience for your age, and there'll be much more to come.

Part of why we know this is that, of all female types, you are the most prone to sudden, ferocious crushes. Your results indicate that you're especially capable of obsessing over a guy you just met. Obviously, passion like this makes for an intense existence. It can also make for soul-destroying letdowns.

Your ideal match is someone who'll love you back with equal fire, and someone you've grown to love slowly. A self-involved or pessimistic man is especially bad. Though you're drawn to them, avoid artists at all costs.


BEWARE: The Hornivore (RBSM)

CONSIDER: The Gentleman (DGLM), The Loverboy (RGLM), The Boy Next Door (RGLD)

Your exact female opposite:
The Stiletto

Deliberate Brutal Sex Master


Link: The Online Dating Persona Test @ OkCupid - free online dating.

Thursday 7 June 2007

Talking...it's a puzzlement

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McClosky

Wednesday 6 June 2007

Thursday Thirteen #6...It was a dark and stormy night


My 13 Favourite Bulwer-Lytton Contest entries.

Edward George Bulwer-Lytton wrote the following opening paragraph in Paul Clifford, 1830: It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals,when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness."

The annual Bulwer-Lytton Contest, sponsored by the English Department of the San Jose State University first started in 1982 and can attract 10,000 entries each year for composing the opening sentence for the worst possible novel. There is a website where you can find the rules of the contest and some of the past winners and dishonourable mentions. Compiled below are some of my favourites from the 2006 contest.

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean. Jim Quigli, Carmichael CA - 2006 Winner

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' - and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' - well do you, punk?" Stuart Vasepuru, Edinburgh, Scotland - 2006 Runner Up

It was a day, like any other day, in that Linus got up, faced the sunrise, used his inhaler, applied that special cream between his toes, wrote a quick note and put it in a bottle, and wished he'd been stranded on the island with something other than 40 cases each of inhalers, decorative bottles, and special toe cream. Chris Harget, Campbell CA - Dishonourable mention - Adventure, 2006

When Debbie decided that Salt 'n' Pepper Beard was the most attractive pirate on the ship, she realized that choosing him was due to the advice of Sylvia, her new Life Coach, to be realistic about her own age and to open herself up to romance where it lay, unlike the troublesome past where she would have wished that only the younger pirates take advantage of her. Jim Guigli, Carmichael, CA - Dishonourable Mention - Historical Fiction 2006

Lisa moved like a cat, not the kind of cat that moves with a slinky grace but more like the kind that always falls off the book shelf when he's washing himself and then gets all mad at you like it's your fault (which it wasn't although it probably was kind of mean to laugh at him like that), although on the bright side, she hardly ever attacked Ricky's toes in his sleep. Debra Allen, Wichita Falls, TX - Dishonourable Mention, Purple Prose, 2006

Sex with Rachel after she turned fifty was like driving the last-place team on the last day of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race, the point no longer the ride but the finish, the difficulty not the speed but keeping all the parts moving in the right direction, not to mention all that irritating barking. Dan Winters, Los Altos Hills, CA - Runner up, Romance, 2006

Herr Professor Doktor Weiss' reputation was made when he conclusively proved the fraudulency of the Mayan codex that claimed to show that that ancient people knew the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter to an exactitude unknown until modern times, in his article, "Bye, Bye, Mesoamerican Pi." John L. Drost, Barboursville, WV - Runner up, Vile Puns, 2006

Cheralynn posed before the unblinking mirror, panting weakly, as her private surgeon hovered around her, tightening the straps on her custom-made girdle, and it dawned on her for the first time in her pampered, overindulged 49 years, that it was only a matter of time before she would succumb to Furniture Disease, and her chest would fall into her drawers. Tracey MacDonald, Antigonish, Nova Scotia, Dishonourable Mentions, Vile Puns, 2006

Butch glared balefully across the saloon at Tex, who had been stone dead since the scorpion he had unwittingly sat on had bitten him on the butt some half an hour or so ago, little suspecting that this was going to be his toughest staring contest since the one against old Glass-eyed Juan, during the great sand-storm of '42, at the height of the Arizona conjunctivitis epidemic. Geoff Blackwell, Bundaberg QLD, Australia - Runner Up, Western 2006

Getting the performance rating of highly successful, although clearly nothing to be ashamed of, left Blevins somewhat oddly dissatisfied, like when you realize, upon having the triage nurses greet your ambulance, that your underwear, as far as you can determine, is in pretty decent condition, but you'll, nonetheless, never pull through the surgery. Jim Lubell, Mechanicsville, Maryland - Miscellaneous Dishonourable Mention, 2006

Ah, yes, it was a beautiful face with skin smoother than pumice and breath fresher than a twenty-five-day-old tuna sandwich stored for safe keeping in a Wichita schoolgirl's lunchbox, and I found myself beset, nay, overcome, with twin urges: to ravish her there and then on the cash register, or to slough off the skin of my calloused feet on the stubble of her chin. Cathy Bannister, Kaleen, Canberra, Australia,Miscellaneous Dishonourable Mention, 2006

The day was like any other, except that this was a Wednesday so it was really only like 1/7th of the other days. Randy Wilson, New Albany, IN, Miscellaneous Dishonourable Mention, 2006

Frank took one look at Tina's moderately shapely legs, her adequate waist, her decent bosom, and her not-unattractive face, and said to himself "Well, hello Miss You'll-Do-Until-Something-Better-Comes-Along!" Lawrence Person, Austin, TX, Miscellaneous Dishonourable Mention, 2006





Madness Takes it's Toll.. please have exact change

Being a bit frivolous, farcical and Frou Frouish...

* I'm glad I slept half of Sunday away, leaving me wide awake that evening because it meant I got to see Garden State - a little gem of a late night movie with Zach Braff and Natalie Portman...

* How is it that despite the fact that work is crazy, I'm enjoying myself immensely? I think it's because my colleagues have become my friends and the insanity that is work creates an environment where we all laugh like loons... it's either that or cry... or bay at the moon... work feels more and more like home...

* Woo hoo... NPNP has been working and studying so hard that now she is on a semester break she is in the mood to play... I'm looking forward to going out and getting snickered with her at the weekend... I've missed her and her snarkiness...

* I'm going to see Bell Shakespeare's production of Othello... and realised today that I've never seen Shakespeare in a theatre, but only on film... I'm very excited...

* I am currently in a mood that has meant I've had to struggle to stop from spontaneous outbursts of singing ... I'm feeling happy... and unusual for me, am not the slightest bit interested in dissecting why, but am merely enjoying myself... if I were to write the story of my life at present it would be a musical!

* I'm also in a mood that sees me constantly saying 'oh why not' to almost any suggestion, which is not my usual state of mind at all. Pity there isn't a slightly handsome man around with devilment on his mind... would take very little for me to be reckless and abandoned... maybe if I get snickered enough this weekend someone will take advantage of me... make that an R-rated musical... sigh... I wish...


FROU FROU'S TO DO LIST:
* Stop thinking
* Drink copious amounts of alcohol
* Flirt outrageously
* Regret nothing

Tuesday 5 June 2007

Someday my Spence will come...


Your Score: Katharine Hepburn


You scored 14% grit, 38% wit, 42% flair, and 9% class!




You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.


Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.




Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test


FROU FROU'S TO DO LIST:
* Find a funny, sarcastic, craggy, grumpy man of my own



Sunday 3 June 2007

Unconscious Mutterings #6 ... I saw and you think...?

Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self. Each week ten words are posted at Unconscious Mutterings to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind. If you want to have a go register by clicking the logo at left above or the link included in this paragraph.

  1. Savage :: Sooth the

  2. Warrior :: Princess

  3. Daisy :: Chain

  4. Schedule :: Out of control

  5. Rock, paper, scissors :: I win

  6. Medical :: Emergency

  7. Jade :: Cold

  8. Elevator :: Muzak

  9. Drain :: Pipe

  10. Goldfish :: Bowl

Happy Birthday to you...

H A Pewter Letter p P Y
H A P P y1
R H is for Yorkshire I

Spell with Flickr http://metaatem.net/words/

Saturday 2 June 2007

Fortune Cookie... oh my ....

Your Fortune Is

It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.


And to all those people in real life who know me well, SHUT UP WITH THE I TOLD YOU SO's....

FROU'S TO DO LIST...
* Stop falling in love with losers

This house is protected by killer dust bunnies...


Nothing much to say at present... life is good... am working hard at a job I love, even though it's insanely busy and I've brought work home to do this weekend. I'm getting out and about and making friends and consolidating existing friendships... talking and Frou Frou flirting with lovely boys and girls...who make me smile...

This weekend will be a combination of housework and work. I am not naturally domestic by nature, can think of much more exciting things I could be doing with my time than housework... but this place is now at the point that even I'm annoyed... it's not dirty, it's just not right... but my Mum's coming next weekend, it needs to be in a better state before she gets here, or eyebrows will be raised. So I will spend most of the weekend humming Sadie, the Cleaning lady under my breath as I do the sparkle and shine thing...

That would normally depress me, but I have found a routine that works for me. Set the cooking timer for 45 minutes, and do 45 minutes of housework... and then set the timer for 30 minutes and do something else... like read blogs, or quilt, or read or play with cats. Then repeat...

I know, I know if I just knuckled down I'd be able to get everything done earlier... but I can't work that way. Found this was the optimum way for me to study as well, if I didn't set timeframes I'd just procrastinate.

Am off to take Mum's dog to the vet, and then to catch up with some girls from work for some major retail therapy and then back to Mum's to transform me into a luscious blonde... catch you later.