Birthday +'s and -'s

I still haven't written about my birthday weekend!

Probably cause I've got mixed feelings about it... I had a lovely weekend, much better and busier than I had planned or expected it to be... but at the same time a sense of melancholy running through it... while I wouldn't have changed any of it, there's a part of me that wonders if I might not have been better off spending the weekend at home in my pj's like I had originally planned...

Turning 46 seems incredible really... it was only yesterday that I was that girl in the photo on the left... can remember the day it was taken at kindergarten. Apparently I followed the photographer around all day, and posed for him every time he turned around. When the proofs came back, there were 3 photos of me for every 1 of everyone else. Gee... it's a bit different now... I can't stand having my photo taken...

Positive things about my birthday:

Catch up with friends for Choir of Hard Knocks gala concert and decision to join the Melbourne Millennium Chorus - and finally get the chance to sing, loudly... in public...

Mad Splurge of retail therapy - buying tops, and shoes, and red lipstick and 3 new pair of pj's - considering how much time I've been spending in my pj's, they were the most exciting purchase...

Being serenaded with Happy Birthday's over the phone from not only FBG and Miss La De Da but also from Peter Rabbit... which was a delightful surprise, as he admits to not remembering birthdays and hating singing...

Tarot Reading - which was interesting, telling me about the year ahead... which will be one of extremes by the sound of it... lots of good things and more likely followed by lots of not so good things... though she said that's probably been happening for awhile and I agreed... the Moon is the prevailing influence, which means I'm going to wax and wane a bit... and probably continue to vacillate between mad outbursts of activity and almost total seclusion... though she said there are boys coming... not 1, not 2, but 3 of them...

Lunch with FBG and her Fish-a-man on Sunday... and had a lovely time catching up... she looks so much happier than she was this time last year... though my missing the turn-off had me almost to Philip Island...and then dinner and a catch up with Miss La De Da and her man...and a lazy day of chatting with NPNP over mediocre fish 'n chips but excellent chocolate...

Angus the Folly did not send me a Happy Birthday message... which means I think that chapter is well and truly over...

Being OK about that chapter being well and truly over...

Negative things about my birthday:

Sister's phone call to ask if I was doing anything for my birthday, cause if I wasn't she wouldn't need to buy me a present! She then kindly offered to come over for coffee if I'd like to buy a cake and I very kindly declined her offer...

Upsetting my Mum, with my moods and 'hermit' behaviour, who mailed by birthday card to me (she lives 5 minutes away) and then left a 'as I don't know when I'll see you next I'm just ringing to wish you a Happy Birthday" message on my machine. I didn't know this, when I rang her to say, could I call in the following afternoon. And when I asked would she like me to bring some afternoon tea (something I normally do, if I call in on Saturday afternoons) she said, not particularly, unless you want to. I decided not to buy anything...

Fish-a-man's friend that I got dressed up for on the off chance that he might be there, as he'd an expressed an interest in meeting me, did not show...

Tarot Teacher could not provide any more detail other than the following about the not 1, not 2 but 3 boys who might be coming... one is a Fire sign (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) and will require me to have the Patience of Job if I want the relationship to progress - apparently I can't push the river@@... one is an Air sign (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) and will be a meeting of the minds, he will encourage me in some endeavour, possibly a new job... the other is an Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) and she was vague but said I should pay attention ##

My pledge to have lots of sex with a man I like a lot before my 46th birthday went unfulfilled... probably cause I can't remember the last time I met a man I liked a lot enough to want to have sex with him...

The realisation that at 46 it's now unlikely, if not impossible, that I will ever have a child of my own... probably cause I can't remember the last time I met a man I liked a lot enough to want to have sex with him...


## If you're a Water sign (Pisces, Scorpio Cancer) - bad luck! And bad luck to me, by her reckoning I should be paying attention to 9/12ths of the male population...

@@ Not pushing the river, may very well mean I won't have lots of sex with a man I like a lot until I'm 50