And the Dorks shall inherit the earth...
The wonderful Rhian has created a new award, and I'm lucky enough to be one of the first recipients,
Now some of you may be wondering about what makes me so special, but of course, this is not my only claim to dorkiness... I'm such a uber-dork I have my own categories.
Dancing...
There's the How I was a Human Bowling Ball and lived to tell the Tale...story that was my award winning entry.
And there was my tapdancing debut. Do you remember The Village People's Do the Shake? Now, imagine a 38 year old, little fat girl, dressed as a cow, tapdancing badly to this song. We stomped onto the stage, and at one point I was so nervous, that I had disorientated myself, and instead of ending up with the rest of the troops at the back of the stage, I had moved forward, so doing an involuntary solo... another couple of missteps and I would have gone over the edge of the stage!
Year two wasn't any better... doing a gangster/ showgirl routine to Madonna's Hanky Panky. Except, I'm not showgirl material, so instead of a gold, tinselly sexpot I looked like a gold, tinselly sausage... crammed into a dress that shed all day in a major heatwave in a theatre without air-conditioning. That was ok... but a fellow dancemate and I, losing our place, and jumping 2 verses ahead of everyone else wasn't... and with my teacher's mantra running through my head of whatever you do, don't stop dancing... I made up my own little interpretive dance that was a mix of Shirley Temple and whirling dervish.
Fashion...
Those of you who have been reading the Tales of Miss Frou Frou from the beginning will be familiar with one of my earliest posts about my various fashion faux pas...
Dating and Food...
Sigh... I'm the girl who always manages to miss her mouth when eating and trying to make an impression. Two examples that spring to mind, going to take a drink out of a megacup of Coke at the movies on a date once and squeezing the cup just a little too hard and ending up with half the cup in my cleavage.... or even more embarrassing, laughing at a date's joke just as I took a sip of hot chocolate and ending up spraying it out my nose... and no, surprise, surprise... never had a second date with either.
Slips, Trips and Pratfalls...
Apart from my human bowling ball routine, I also regularly trip over ants...
Fell down a flight of stairs at Flinders Street Railway Station once... one step, and I bounced all the way down and was still hanging on to a suitcase and a shoulder bag when I hit the bottom... actually they were the cause of my, minor, injuries... a bump on the nose from the suitcase hitting me in the face all the way down and a twisted finger as my denim shoulderbag straps had twisted around my finger.
But the most uber-dorkish moment was arriving for a football match that MFL was playing in on a day when it had rained incessantly. Walked up to the car my godmother was sitting in, and did the big dramatic 'ta da' and went arse over tit in the mud. My godmother burst into laughter and the woman sitting in the drivers seat was asking 'where did she go...?' My beautiful new red chenille top was covered in cold, wet, sloppy mud.
But that wasn't the worst... luckily I was going to stay the weekend, so had a change of clothes in the car. Took my young godsister with me, while I changed in the car, she was supposed to play lookout and let me know if someone came along who could see. Got stripped down to my undies and changed and only then noticed the man sitting in the car parked in front, looking avidly into his rear view mirror. My godsister's response when I asked why had she not told me he was there... you said, tell me if someone comes along... he's been there all along!
There have been way too many examples of tripping both up and down stairs, or slipping on uneven floor surfaces too keep track... my knees and shins have callouses.
I'm not going to award a Uber-Dork award to anyone else... not sure if there is anyone else beamed down from my planet... but feel free to share your own uber-dork stories.
Now some of you may be wondering about what makes me so special, but of course, this is not my only claim to dorkiness... I'm such a uber-dork I have my own categories.
Dancing...
There's the How I was a Human Bowling Ball and lived to tell the Tale...story that was my award winning entry.
And there was my tapdancing debut. Do you remember The Village People's Do the Shake? Now, imagine a 38 year old, little fat girl, dressed as a cow, tapdancing badly to this song. We stomped onto the stage, and at one point I was so nervous, that I had disorientated myself, and instead of ending up with the rest of the troops at the back of the stage, I had moved forward, so doing an involuntary solo... another couple of missteps and I would have gone over the edge of the stage!
Year two wasn't any better... doing a gangster/ showgirl routine to Madonna's Hanky Panky. Except, I'm not showgirl material, so instead of a gold, tinselly sexpot I looked like a gold, tinselly sausage... crammed into a dress that shed all day in a major heatwave in a theatre without air-conditioning. That was ok... but a fellow dancemate and I, losing our place, and jumping 2 verses ahead of everyone else wasn't... and with my teacher's mantra running through my head of whatever you do, don't stop dancing... I made up my own little interpretive dance that was a mix of Shirley Temple and whirling dervish.
Fashion...
Those of you who have been reading the Tales of Miss Frou Frou from the beginning will be familiar with one of my earliest posts about my various fashion faux pas...
Dating and Food...
Sigh... I'm the girl who always manages to miss her mouth when eating and trying to make an impression. Two examples that spring to mind, going to take a drink out of a megacup of Coke at the movies on a date once and squeezing the cup just a little too hard and ending up with half the cup in my cleavage.... or even more embarrassing, laughing at a date's joke just as I took a sip of hot chocolate and ending up spraying it out my nose... and no, surprise, surprise... never had a second date with either.
Slips, Trips and Pratfalls...
Apart from my human bowling ball routine, I also regularly trip over ants...
Fell down a flight of stairs at Flinders Street Railway Station once... one step, and I bounced all the way down and was still hanging on to a suitcase and a shoulder bag when I hit the bottom... actually they were the cause of my, minor, injuries... a bump on the nose from the suitcase hitting me in the face all the way down and a twisted finger as my denim shoulderbag straps had twisted around my finger.
But the most uber-dorkish moment was arriving for a football match that MFL was playing in on a day when it had rained incessantly. Walked up to the car my godmother was sitting in, and did the big dramatic 'ta da' and went arse over tit in the mud. My godmother burst into laughter and the woman sitting in the drivers seat was asking 'where did she go...?' My beautiful new red chenille top was covered in cold, wet, sloppy mud.
But that wasn't the worst... luckily I was going to stay the weekend, so had a change of clothes in the car. Took my young godsister with me, while I changed in the car, she was supposed to play lookout and let me know if someone came along who could see. Got stripped down to my undies and changed and only then noticed the man sitting in the car parked in front, looking avidly into his rear view mirror. My godsister's response when I asked why had she not told me he was there... you said, tell me if someone comes along... he's been there all along!
There have been way too many examples of tripping both up and down stairs, or slipping on uneven floor surfaces too keep track... my knees and shins have callouses.
I'm not going to award a Uber-Dork award to anyone else... not sure if there is anyone else beamed down from my planet... but feel free to share your own uber-dork stories.
I will regard this great honor not so much as an award for what I have achieved, but a standard to hold against what I have yet to accomplish...
Eve Harrington, All About Eve, 1950
Eve Harrington, All About Eve, 1950
5 comments:
OK, I've been laughing here at reception out loud and feeling rather dorky in the process, but these were all hilarious. Especially the fall down the stairs at the train station with the suitcase and bag. OMG, I'm laughing again. I like your philosophy at the end. Good on ya!
ROFL, Miss Frou!
my...stomach...hurts...still...laughing!!!! =)
Miss Frou you are priceless!
even in my drug induced haze, THAT was hilarious! yeah, houseguests for a week and all i have to show for it is a cold...*hugs*
congrats, sugar!
As always HILLAROUS! Congrats on the award! We should all revel in our uniqueness...when called a nerd the other day I was proud to correct "I'm not a nerd, I'm a geek, get it straight".
;-)
By the way, about Eric Balfour (yep, back on that again), yes, I absolutely share in your "crush" on him, he's yummy and...did you know he is lead singer in a band out of L.A.? They're pretty good too, he's got a sexy voice to boot...I've recently downloaded the four new tracks from their myspace page and have them on heavy rotation on my mp3 player...
I'm figuring you know this already, but if you don't, let me know, I'll share details!
Thank you all... awkward, clumsy curtsey from me... thank you, you really, really like me...
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