Aphrodite with Training Wheels

Aphrodite, goddess of romance and passion, of fashion, beauty and art. Known for her numerous affairs of the heart, as well as her willingness to help others find the love they sought. Aphrodite had one gift and one gift only… to make love and to bring love into the world. Playful, sophisticated and full of zest, both innocent and seductive Aphrodite makes our world a livelier, and much more beautiful place…

Sigh… I wish…

Am in a strangely weird mood at present… am obviously giving off some sort of vibe – an unspoken message of ‘available’ woman… I’ve had 3 different friends ask if I’d be interested in meeting men in the last month.

I’ve surprised myself at how open I’ve been to the idea… not that any of them have actually followed through… except for Moon Girl and her pimping me out to the raffle ticket man at the local shopping centre…

But I’m trying very hard to channel my inner Aphrodite at the minute. Sometimes I manage to take on the whole sexy thing vibe, find myself sashing around, swinging my hips. Wearing what Cheesegirl used to call my ‘booby’ clothes…tops that tend to emphasis rather than hide my more than ample bosom. Having ignored those puppies for most of my adult life by wearing baggy clothes that come up to my neck, I’ve got into the flashing a bit of cleavage, figuring I should make the most of my theatre balcony before it slowly sinks into my orchestra pit.

Not that any bloody men would notice… I think I need to start sticking knock knock jokes on post it notes on each breast to even get anyone to look at them...as most of the time I’m being told by the men around me how funny I am, not how sexy I am…

It’s nice to amuse people but what I’d really like to being doing is making some gorgeous man laugh outrageously while we are naked… preferably cause I’m tickling him with a feather…

When my tarot teacher told me at the start of 2006 that I’d be having lots and lots of sex I kind of assumed there’d be someone else in the room at the time… growling with frustration…

Now it’s possible that there has been the odd bit of interest from a couple of boys lately, and I’m being my usual clueless self when it comes to reading men and just assuming they think I'm an endearingly klutzy girl rather than the red hot sex goddess I wanna be…

Someone did offer to let me whip him last week… but I have to assume he was joking… as this is the guy who a month ago said yes, he’d love to go to a movie with me, and he’d organise it… and I’m still waiting… so have to assume that he’s not madly plotting to get me alone in the dark so he can have his wicked way with me… more’s the pity…I like the dark... the dark is my friend...

MFF

(madly frustrated female), who is going to go and have a bath and read another trashy novel about handsome men with bulging bits whispering raunchy and ribald suggestions in to delicate but receptive ears...maybe I'll open a bottle of wine and crank up good old Burt B. and complete the whole miserable deal by singing along to Wishin and Hopin and Thinkin and Prayin...