Things I have learned... in no particular order of importance...

• Drooling and dribbling and sighing 'oh my god, look at the size of his hands' is probably not the most appropriate response when being introduced to the very cute, but very young (28) new guy at work...

• I am not much of a team player... I love working as part of a team, as long as no-one else is doing MY job...

• I do not delegate well...

• Working 10-12 hours days for 3 weeks in a row in order to have a week off kinda defeats the purpose of having a holiday...

• Particularly when you then go back to working 10-12 hour days on your return...
  

• Telling men that you need to mother-proof your house prior to a visit has them thinking of p0rn and a drawerful of goodies... and their eyes glaze over...

• As does telling them that you are going on a d1ck-free weekend with your girlfriends...
  

• Having slightly hairy legs on a girls away weekend is probably better than attempting to shave said legs at midnight in the bathtub when you've spent the previous 48 hours doped up to the gills due to back spasm...

• Legs bleed a lot...

• Starting belly dancing lessons is probably not the smartest thing to do when you are in the middle of a full blown fibromyalgia episode...

• People think it's funny that the one body part that gets injured after belly dancing lesson number one is your ANKLE...

• Keeping quiet about the boobage and bum cramp after your first belly dancing lesson is probably not a bad thing...

• Men, want to talk to me and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with me, which is lovely...

• Feeling comfortable enough to shut up and just jump my bones on occasion would be even lovelier...

• Despite the fact that I often make reference to being a little fat girl, and my humour is self-deprecating, I actually like myself, a lot...

• Which is probably just as well, as it becomes clearer every day that my world and the rest of the planet are often slightly out of kilter and it's likely to be a long while before a lovely man tells me to shut up and jumps my bones...

• Just as well I'm an optimist... someday my prince will come... sigh!

Sorry... you know what they say... if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... well... that's why I've been so quiet...

The Moaning Meme...

"I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain" Anonymous

I probably should be moaning about memes as I got tagged THREE times in the last week... but I ain't complaining.

My friend, Candid Katrina - who writes great things and has the best Wordless Wednesdays by the way, so go check her out, if you don't read her already... tagged me for this one... created by The Freelance Critic.

He says: "If you've ever listened to people talking on a bus you'll know that most of what they say is negative. They talk about things they hate, people that annoy them and boyfriends that let them down before they even think about mentioning the 'nice things.'

All of us do it. We find it natural, when with a friend, to moan.In fact a recent study has shown that the most effective form of human bonding is moaning and gossiping.Yet our blogs, the social tools of the 21st century, are populated by memes listing our 'favourites,' or our 'blessings,' or our 'funniest' moments. In our efforts to be readable we have denied others the one thing that makes us interesting - our whining, moaning, complaining selves.And so I am pleased to present the first ever Moaning Meme! The meme that will teach us all a bit more about each other and ourselves.It's time to spread some Personality... "

The Moaning Meme

5 people who will be annoyed you tagged them.

1. Wylie

2. Rhian (only cause I think her answers to this will be a crack-up)

3. Starrlight - cause she tagged me!

4. Anne

5. Gabriella

4 things that should go into room 101 and be removed from the face of the earth.

One - Low Fat icecream - seriously, if I'm going to have icecream, then I want the highest level of fat available

Two - Compound Chocolate

Three - Late night infomercials - what happened to oldey, late night movies, so if you couldn't sleep you could at least watch something interesting while you did your ironing at 3.00am

Four - The assumption that just because you're round, you are also tall! Am sick of chopping 5 or more inches of the bottom of pants... though maybe if I wasn't so particularly about 1 and 2 this might not be a problem

3 things people do that make you want to shake them violently.

One - Be rude to wait staff or telephone canvassers... somebody has to do this job... be nice

Two - hog parking spots, so that you can't get in front of them or behind them

Three - complain about the rain... we're experiencing a drought people... you should be thankful

2 things you find yourself moaning about.

One - why I can't meet anyone who wants to race me off...

Two - spoonfeeding people at work, which means I never have time to do my own work

1 thing the above answers tell you about yourself.

I'm not very tolerant of people who are intolerant! And I obsess about food, a lot!

RULES:*Link to the original meme at FreelanceCynic.com so people know what it's all about!*Be as honest as possible, This is about letting people get to know the real you!*Try not to insult anyone - unless they really deserve it or are very, very ugly! *Post these rules at the end of every meme!Finally remember, cynical is sexy. At least that's what I'm hoping...