Songs to fall in love by... It Might Be You...

Time... I've been passing time watching trains go by
All of my life...
Lying on the sand, watching seabirds fly
Wishing there would be
Someone waiting home for me...

Something's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it might be you...
All of my life...

Looking back as lovers go walking past...
All of my life
Wondering how they met and what makes it last

If I found the place
Would I recognize the face?

Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it might be you

So many quiet walks to take
So many dreams to wake
And we've so much love to make

I think we're gonna need some time
Maybe all we need is time...
And it's telling me it might be you
All of my life...

I've been saving love songs and lullabies
And there's so much more
No one's ever heard before...

Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah, it's telling me it must be you
And I'm feeling it'll just be you
All of my life...
It's you..
It's you...
I've been waiting for all of my life...

Maybe it's you...
Maybe it's you...
I've been waiting for all of my life...

Have been playing the radio in the car lately, after weeks of total silence, and doing my usual channel surfing and finding myself listening intently to a variety of mushy love songs... one of which was this one... by Stephen Bishop - used to wonderful effect in the movie Tootsie.

And no - not falling in love... just being a bit wistful... and thinking it's probably not a bad thing to articulate what I want... I want to have someone to sing this song to... well the quiz on Xine's blog says nice things about me... mostly...!

Things I have learned... in no particular order of importance...

• Drooling and dribbling and sighing 'oh my god, look at the size of his hands' is probably not the most appropriate response when being introduced to the very cute, but very young (28) new guy at work...

• I am not much of a team player... I love working as part of a team, as long as no-one else is doing MY job...

• I do not delegate well...

• Working 10-12 hours days for 3 weeks in a row in order to have a week off kinda defeats the purpose of having a holiday...

• Particularly when you then go back to working 10-12 hour days on your return...
  

• Telling men that you need to mother-proof your house prior to a visit has them thinking of p0rn and a drawerful of goodies... and their eyes glaze over...

• As does telling them that you are going on a d1ck-free weekend with your girlfriends...
  

• Having slightly hairy legs on a girls away weekend is probably better than attempting to shave said legs at midnight in the bathtub when you've spent the previous 48 hours doped up to the gills due to back spasm...

• Legs bleed a lot...

• Starting belly dancing lessons is probably not the smartest thing to do when you are in the middle of a full blown fibromyalgia episode...

• People think it's funny that the one body part that gets injured after belly dancing lesson number one is your ANKLE...

• Keeping quiet about the boobage and bum cramp after your first belly dancing lesson is probably not a bad thing...

• Men, want to talk to me and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with me, which is lovely...

• Feeling comfortable enough to shut up and just jump my bones on occasion would be even lovelier...

• Despite the fact that I often make reference to being a little fat girl, and my humour is self-deprecating, I actually like myself, a lot...

• Which is probably just as well, as it becomes clearer every day that my world and the rest of the planet are often slightly out of kilter and it's likely to be a long while before a lovely man tells me to shut up and jumps my bones...

• Just as well I'm an optimist... someday my prince will come... sigh!

Sorry... you know what they say... if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... well... that's why I've been so quiet...

And Solitaire's the only game in town...

Miss Frou Frou -- [noun]: A hermit living in the big city 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

How weird is this? Though I'm pretty sure the meanings are random, if I put Miss Frou Frou in more than once, I'd get more than one answer... but still this is a bit weird... considering my current mood...

With 8 weeks of Sunday choir rehearsals, and meditation classes and catching up with friends and other social activities and work I'm getting a bit frazzled...

Am seriously looking forward to next weekend, after the first two Choir Concerts, and a friends birthday party on Saturday night ... I have 3 days off... am going to spend them on my own, I hope... not speaking... shut away in my little bolthole... I'm not sure if I can wait that long...

This is what worries me most I think about having a serious relationship with someone else, my need for solitude... which can come on unexpectedly at times... will someone understand my need to regularly hibernate... to be still and quiet?

Though Jeni B, my tarot reader/ teacher keeps telling me that the 'right' person will understand that need, and more than likely have the same need. She keeps reminding me of a theme through my meditations over the last 2 years of myself, in a little cottage, in a room that is mine, with my books and crafty things and an open fire and a desk by the window at which I write. And in all of those meditations, there is either someone working alone in another room, or someone else close by... a footfall at the door, a shadow, the anticipation of someone expected... sigh... I wish...


Of course, in the Tarot, the Hermit symbolises much of these feelings. A time to withdraw, to be introspective in order to gain perspective. Soul-searching, time for self-illumination, truth and wisdom of the higher self. It can also represent a guide, a wise woman/man offering others that same illumination, truth and wisdom. I sometimes wonder if I'm meant to take both meanings, I'm definitely someone who searches my soul... but am I also required to share the results of that soul-searching?


Note: When I put in my real name I was told that it means "tastes like chicken"... lol

Someone to watch over me....

There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we’re often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I’m going to seek a certain lad I’ve had in mind...

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me...
Someone to Watch Over Me...George Gershwin

Well it seems the general consensus is that I should go for it... this online dating thing...especially as some of you think I should share all the gory details of my quest... so in fact, I'm being selfless and doing this for you!

Have been thinking a lot about what kind of man/men I'd like to meet, what would make my heart go ping... and other body parts reverberate...and prompted to think even more following some recent blog posts... doesn't help that I've been listening to Ella Fitzgerald sing the Gershwin Songbook... boy that man could write a melancholy love song...

Mez recently discussed Love or List?... should you make a list of attributes that you might want in a partner, and what if people don't meet the requirements of the list. And Indiana talked about that Dreaded Question - why are you still single? and gave what I think is a wonderfully succinct and heartfelt response "I am yet to meet someone I can rely on to be both there for me and to be the person I need, not just want. I am yet to meet someone whom I can believe enough in to give up my own total self-reliance"

And so, we come to me, and what is it that I am looking for - I've mentioned different things in this blog since I started in February... most recently stating I yearn for someone who gets me... someone who is clever and funny and kind and kooky ... and wants to wrestle naked...no doubt I'll be doing some more thinking about this but here goes...

ADDENDUM: Need to clarify the list below is not a checklist, have no plans to meet someone and then determine whether they are right or wrong based on the below... I'm someone who goes a lot more on gut or intuition in my responses to people, both male and female. It's just a bit of fun about my ideal man... and by putting the desire out there into the universe I'll be curious to see how many of these attributes can be found... though the Naughty, Lusty, Kissable and Available things are non-negotiable!

I do think it's interesting that the commentors to date who have expressed horror have all been male... lol

The ABCs - Miss Frou Frou's Ideal Bloke needs to be:

Available - both physically and emotionally - i.e. live within in a reasonable distance, and actually single
Blokey - I actually don't mind blokey blokes - the blokier they are, the more girlie I become
Clever - not looking for a Mensa candidate, but someone who can hold their own conversationally on a gamut of interests
Dependable - I don't mean a doormat, but if you say you're going to do something, you do it or least let me know if you can't
Employed - don't care what you do, but you need to have some form of work, preferably something that you are passionate about. If you have a mundane job that provides an income for you to follow your muse, that's ok too...
Funny - if you make me laugh, you've almost won me over...
Grounded - for all that I enjoy foolishness, I want someone who has a clear idea of who he is and what he wants, partly cause I need someone to pull me back to earth on occasion
Honest - I will forgive most things, but not lies
Imaginative - linked to funny, clever, lusty, naughty and uninhibited... use your imagination
Juggler - capable of keeping several balls up in the air, work, family, hobbies, me...
Kissable - kissing is important... but I'm not a girl who will kiss someone just because... I need to want to kiss you... and you need to want to kiss me - often!
Lusty - sorry, have no interest in having a purely cerebral relationship... you need to want to play - often!
Manly - I like guys who are masculine - and all that means, not prissy, not afraid to get their hands dirty, a bit hairy, hard in all the right places.
Naughty - I'm pretty open about a lot of things... anyone who is a bit on the conservative side just makes me want to be more and more outrageous
Open Minded- I like odd things... am very tolerant and interested in all sorts of people, you'd need to be a bit the same or we'd bump heads
Persuasive - I'm a hard nut to crack... confess to being high maintenance - you'd need to be somewhere between persistent and pushy - if you pushed to hard, particularly if you dictated, I'm out of here...
Quixotic/ Quirky - fanciful, impulsive, unpredictable but all in a good way
Romantic - not your traditional hearts and flowers type romantic (though that's nice) but someone who would see the romance in small things ... dancing with me around the house, making me a special mix tape, picking flowers out of the garden, singing me to sleep
Sane - while I walk a fine line between slightly eccentric and raving lunatic - you'd need to be well versed in the land of common sense and practicality, but prepared to let go of all that on occasion and come over to my side for awhile
Tactile - I'm a touchy feely girl, when I'm comfortable with someone... think cat... I purr when I'm stroked...
Uninhibited - puritanical and prudish just does not cut it
Verbal - I need to talk, and need someone to talk to... if your main form of communication is grunting, I am not the girl for you
Wise - again, not talking about a Mr Smartpants, but someone who is worldly and discerning.
X Rated - linked to funny, clever, lusty, naughty and uninhibited... I told you already - use your imagination!
Young at Heart - am over the much younger boy thing, but I'm still not quite grown up yet, so am attracted to men who are a bit childlike... not terrible two's childlike... not in to tantrum throwing... just playful
Zany - if you can't see the absurd in things, how on earth are you going to love and treasure me for the dingbat that I am?

My wish isn't to mean everything to everyone but something to someone... unknown

I've been studying the tarot now for about 4 years, but will often ask my teacher to do a reading for me, either when I have a concern about something and I want some guidance, or just as a bit of a check about what's around me and whats ahead.

I had a reading last week... not that there is anything wrong at present, just wanting a bit of a barometer check, life is good and I wanted to see if that would be reflected in the reading (which it was!)

I'll write about the reading in more detail at another time but as usual the question of relationships and romance came up, and as usual, I was told there was someone out there for me, but the universe wasn't going to send him, until I was ready...

HEAH, I'm ready! Really, truly, ready!

Impatiently, and a bit antsy, and really, really frustratingly ready!

And then, as usual, I read the weekly postings on Post Secrets. There is something immensely powerful about viewing and reading these images and words, knowing there are people behind these stories of joy and pain and loss and loneliness. There is usually something that resonates strongly with me, and this week there was this...

I keep thinking back to that silly Fortune Cookie Generator - better to have lost a lover than have loved a loser... and I think never again... happy to have relationships end, because they need to end... but...

I realised I am ready, truly ready, for the first time in my life, because for the first time in my life, I believe that I am a weird, amazing, remarkable woman... and it's ok for me to be weird, amazing and remarkable... and he, whoever he is, will come along when he is ready... and I'm happy to wait...

There might be a bit of antsy, toe-tapping, scanning the horizon, mumbling under my breath, hurry up already's in my future... but that's ok... need to stay vigilant, so I can recognise him when he comes...

"In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from
one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people"...Judy Garland

Thursday Thirteen #5...A house is a home when it shelters the body and comforts the soul... Phillip Moffat

I rent my home, and it meets my needs more than adequately, but it's not mine! So, I look at the online real estate sites and look at houses and floor plans and imagine my things inside them. Oh, I like that kitchen, yuk that paint colour is awful.

I moved out of home into a share house at 19, and had a miserable experience, and moved back to my parents home, temporarily, 18 months later. And didn't leave again, until 5 years ago... instead, with my brother, I bought the house - it is ours, though it will always be my mother's home - and hence I will always need to live elsewhere. Because I moved out with almost nothing, I had the advantage of money in my pocket and the ability to plan and pick what I wanted, and I surprised a lot of my closest friends when they discovered when it comes to house furnishings I'm fairly old-fashioned. Not sure why they were so surprised, as I've always loved old and kitschy things, trawling trash and treasure markets for bargains... like Bakelite canisters, and funky vegetable shaped crockery... I even have a set of flying ducks on my entry wall...

Anyway, if I were to built the house of dreams, these are the 13 things I would have... in no particularly order of importance...

One: An Attic I prefer houses that have lots of different rooms than big open spaces, while I can admire warehouse style living, it's not for me. And ever since I was a little girl, reading about the March sisters in their attic, I've dreamt of having one... whether as a space to retreat or as a bedroom

Two: Bath I love to play in the bath... and a bath big enough for two is my idea of bliss. I could live out every Cleopatra fantasy I've ever had in this bathroom.... milk bath anyone? Only think missing is a bookshelf... and the odd semi-naked man slave...

Three: Bedroom isn't the open fireplace gorgeous.. and the wing back chairs, and the white bed cover. A big soft bed, with lots of pillows, a fireplace, somewhere to sit while you put your socks on, lots of natural light... perfect!

I have a 1930s era cast iron bed, that sat in the shed at Mum's house for years, but I sanded and painted it cream when I moved. It's got a high head and foot, and stands close to a metre off the ground... everyone laughs at how high it is, asking if I need a footstool to get into it... MLDD calls it my Princess and the Pea bed... I love it.

Four:Conservatory isn't this an amazing space? Of course, during an Australian summer this space would be unbearable, but during autumn and winter it would be well used.

Can easily imagine curling up on the chaise lounge reading a book, or cuddling with a boy, listening to music and talking and fooling around. A glass of wine, a plate of fruit, cheese, crackers... Beulah peel me a grape!

Five: Guest Suite I have a spare room at present, that is also my junk room, ironing, filing cabinets, baskets of quilt fabrics and projects... anything I want to keep out of my living room.

It would be lovely to have a room that could be kept for guests. A nice bed, a comfy couch, a table to write at, a small bookshelf of bedtime reading.

Six:Country Kitchen considering I am a self-confessed undomestic goddess, I'm particular about kitchens... I want a white and timber kitchen, with lots of space to display all that funky and kitschy stuff I've collected. It needs to have lots of natural light, and lots and lots of cupboards... I like the bookshelves too.

I think even I'd cook if I had a kitchen like this.

Seven: A Library this is a must have, a place for all my books. And again, I like light, bright spaces. While I can admire the dark timbered libraries, I'd much prefer something like this.
With a mandatory soft and squishy couch, and preferably an open fireplace and lots of lamps. Bit of a theme being established here... isn't there. To be honest, I'd have bookshelves in every room of the house, if I had my way.

Eight: Breakfast Nook don't ask me why I like these, I just do. MLDD's family used to live in a 1930s era house that has a built in eatery, and I loved it.

Imagine playing footsies with someone here on a Sunday morning while you have a big breakfast and sharing the papers.


Nine: A Wrap Around Verandah warm summer evenings, sitting outside watching the world go by.

An afternoon tea party, with butterfly cakes, and sandwiches with the crusts cut off, and a pot of tea, or homemade lemonade, served on mismatched china covered in rosebuds and violets.

Ten:Quilt Studio oh, how lovely it would be to have a dedicated space for playing with needle and thread. Doesn't the wall of colour look amazing... I would be so inspired to create more if I could have a space like this, instead of everything crammed into boxes and baskets stored all over the house.






Eleven: Windowseats something else I'd love to have in every room of the house.

Welcome to Miss Frou Frou's house of laziness, indulgence and sloth...






Twelve: Sadie, the Cleaning Lady Meet Sadie... she's the second most important part of my wishlist (see 13!) If I'm going to have all this room, this is not a nice to have but a necessity. Repeat after me - UNDOMESTIC GODDESS










Thirteen: Seriously, do I need to explain this?

I wish......

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

Who I want to be when I grow up...

It's interesting - girls reactions to other girls. I wonder if young boys have such a relationship with males in the public eye. Apart from Daddy, do boys idolise other men while growing up? Do they want to grow up to look like another man, say Justin Timberlake or The Rock? As teenagers going through puberty do they aspire to be them in the same way that girls aspire to be other women? We look at other women and we want to be them...I put on my cloudiest suit [Miscellany]

The paragraph above is part of Mez's ode to Kate Bush who she idealised as a teenager. And then in my post of Monday Rhi talked about Morticia Addams and I said I preferred Lily Munster, and it's got me thinking...

Mez is right... girls react to other girls, look up to them, idolise them, want to be them... so who do I want to be? Any of, or a combination of these women, both real and fictional, would suit me just fine... it's funny, that Mez's idol was a singer, and most of mine are either fictional characters or actresses...

Lily Munster, as played by Yvonne DeCarlo. I loved Lily... she had style... but she loved her man, even if he was a doofus.. and her family. I thought she was pretty, she was curvy, not a stick figure, which was important to a girl who started developing lumps and bumps at a young age. I'd love to do the dramatic white streak through my hair...mmm



Jo March, Little Women - I'm going to write in more detail about Little Women at some time, but needless to say, I was given a Junior edition of the story when I was six, have my Mum's copy of Good Wives, which she was given as a teenager, and bought myself the whole Louisa May Alcott collection as an adult. I wanted to be Jo - creative, writing in her garret. I wanted to be brave enough to cut my hair, and already knew I was clumsy enough to singe my gown on the fire. Still want someone like Professor Bhaer, an intelligent and kind man, who will recognise my talent and loveliness...

Colleen Dewhurst, Actress...if I grew up to be Colleen Dewhurst or some of the characters she played, I'd be happy. I think she was strikingly beautiful, both as a younger woman and as she got older, with a deep throaty voice, and a booming sexy laugh. The first time I saw her was in The Women's Room, and then in And Baby Makes Six, as a middle-aged mother of 4, who discovers that she is pregnant. She was Marilla in Anne of Green Gables, and Murphy's mother, in Murphy Brown. She won 4 Emmy awards, and two Toni Awards, and was president of Actors Equity in the years prior to her death in 1991 from cervical cancer.

Anne of Green Gables, Lucy Maud Montgomery... speaking of Anne... I loved her too... came to these stories late, after the production of Anne of Green Gables for TV that starred Megan Follows... but ended up buying the books for myself, and read the first one on an overnight train trip to Sydney to see Noiseworks film a concert for MTV, talk about a contradiction in terms... I was about 26 at the time.

Catwoman (particularly as played by Julie Newmar) - can remember playing Batman and Robin, with me as Catwoman, with Peter, who lived in our street... I had a crush on him. He got really upset, cause I tried to kiss him... Catwoman was bad, evil and Batman shouldn't kiss her... was I the only 6 year old to understand the URST (unresolved sexual tension) between those two?

Willow, Buffy the Vampire Slayer ... she was a nerdy, bluestocking girl, who discovered her own power... and she got to make out with Seth Green... but I love her character for saying things like this ... When I'm with a boy I like I can't say anything cool, or witty - or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, and then I have to go away... and this... We can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy my class notes with a system of different colored pens. But it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane... and this... Okay, the Angel thing went badly, I'm on board with that, but that's not your fault. And anyways, love isn't always like that. Love can be... nice.

Lili Taylor, Actress... she's one of my favourites, I've loved her since Say Anything, particularly in Dogfight with River Phoenix, and Household Saints with Vincent D'Onofrio. Was thrilled when she joined Six Feet Under, my favourite actress in my favourite TV show. She's mesmerising.

Claudia Jean (CJ) Cregg, The West Wing... one of the best female characters created for television... having just watched the final episodes of The West Wing, I'm struck that regardless of the overabundance of mucho macho men, both actors and characters... it is CJ that is the most memorable... in some ways, particularly in the later seasons, she became the heart of the show. Alison Janney is a goddess...

Katherine Hepburn... ah, Kate. Fiercely intelligent, independent, unique, a man's woman, but loved by women as well... who wouldn't want to be her? She was a Jo March too... as well as Susan Vance in Bringing Up Baby, Tracy Lord in The Philadelphia Story, Rose Sayer in The African Queen and who can ever forget her with Spencer Tracy in Adam's Rib, Pat and Mike, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner and my personal favourite, Desk Set, where she plays Bunny, the head of a research department, to Tracy's Richard, who has been brought in to introduce Memorac, a computer to assist them.

Bunny: I don't smoke, I only drink champagne when I'm lucky enough to get it, my hair is naturally natural, I live alone... and so do you.
Richard: How do you know that?
Bunny: Because you're wearing one brown sock and one black sock.