Thursday Thirteen #7... the 13 Wants of V...

There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it
Oscar Wilde

Well, I've played the "What Does V... need?" game, as have lots of others... but I was curious to see "What Does V... Want?" To play along, simply type "(your name) wants" into Google's search engine and be amazed, astonished and astounded...so without further ado, Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you the 13 Wants of V...

One: V... wants to be fatally gorgeous... aren't I already?

Two: V... wants to be a duck... been there, done that... and have the feathered arse to prove it... A fatally gorgeous duck I was too... tap dancing on stage to Singing in the Rain... and no, you can't see the photos.

Three: V... wants to do gospel. She is the only person who can sing the telephone book in Swahili and make it sound good! ... um, yeah right, but I'll soon be able to tell you, as I start rehearsals next week for the Melbourne Millennium Chorus, and am fully expecting them to look at me kindly, while they offer me a full refund and show me politely to the door...

Four: V... wants to be great and to receive the love and applause of an adoring audience... singing quietly... I have confidence, in confidence alone... besides which you see, I have confidence in me... oh crap!

Five: V... wants to go out tomorrow night ... yeah, she does, and she is, have been invited to go eat Spanish food with some lovely lads and lassies from work ... (I know that sounds funny, scottish folk eating spanish food.. but I kid you not I am going to a Scots pub famous for its paella and sangria!)

Six: V... wants to write now... well, actually not right now, maybe later... am so tired... (oh, I've used that line before... but it was when someone asked for something else!)

Seven: V... wants to sleep now... see I told you...

Eight: V... wants to spend every day as if there was no tomorrow. Although Vikki may seem immature and childish she in fact is very wise, intelligent and caring... couldn't resist adding the following sentence... see, I iz all grown up, so pfft!

Nine: V... wants some men with big feet... well you know what they say about big feet! All the better to help me with item eleven! Though the plural men has got me worried... truly, just one man would do...

Ten: V... wants a hero to idolize and adore, someone to wholeheartedly admire and be proud of... with really, really big feet!

Eleven: V... wants risky sex... I think that means the sex where her mum says "I'm just going to get some milk" and you have to have REALLY fast sex on the kitchen table before she gets back... I swear, that was the actual following sentence... sex, sex, it all comes down to sex ...

Twelve: V... wants it all - love, sex, art, sex, life, passion, - all that plus the butterflies in the stomach feeling of a new romance! ... who me? Well, if you insist...

And finally... to end on a serious and cultured note:

Thirteen: V... wants her name changed to Tricksy McF@#ckalot ... I am speechless...