Drive-by blogging.... watch out for that tree... I mean fence!

Further to my previous post, this is how I am currently feeling!

And on Thursday night, after 3 days of 10+ hours days and an average of 3-4 hours sleep each night, I decided to go with NPNP to see Hairspray...

Great movie by the way, want to go and see it again... they are doing sing-a-long versions already.

Glad I caught up with NPNP, and glad I saw the movie despite being utterly exhausted BUT turning into my driveway about 10.00pm, I stopped as I usually do to collect my mail from the letterbox, climbed back into the car and accelerated up the drive to the sound of crunch, bang...

As I'd turned into the drive I was closer to the fence then I realised and dragged the car's passenger side along the fence line taking the car down to base metal in several places as I caught the metal edge of the fence protector FENCE 1 CAR 0

I've driven up this driveway at least 5 times a week for the last four years... I just sat in the car and had a quiet sob for a few minutes... then came inside to toss and turn till 3.00am... and then slept for 3 hours to get up and drag myself off to work for a 7.00am start.

Car will take a week to fix... which means I will either have to take some time off... almost impossible to get from my place to my place of work by public transport, or see if anyone who lives in neighbouring suburbs might be give me a lift... either way I'm going to have to curtail my working hours.... the universe trying to tell me something do you think?

Note: Friday night sleep tally - in bed and asleep with the light on at 11.30pm - slept through until 9.00am! Last night... asleep by 1.00am ... awake at 8.00am... so may be the sleep thing is going to settle down.

Am going to try this week to see if leaving at a normal time (i.e. 5.30pm) and going home and fixing dinner etc. and then sitting down at computer to do some work after I've eaten, might help with the sleep thing... am sure leaving work at 7.30pm and eating dinner at 9.00pm isn't a healthy thing!

Also as a result of Friday's meeting with Safety Inspector it's clear that we need some additional resources to manage the current crisis... so will be talking to the powers that be about bringing in a contractor to help out... either that... or I curtail some of my projects as this level of craziness is unsustainable!

Drive-by blogging.... working for the man

Sorry I haven't been around much... some major dramas at work that have seen me trying to do my own job plus someone else's (working 10 hour days)... combined with a mega bout of insomnia (have averaged about 3-4 hours sleep a day all week) and the odd panic attack... is it any wonder I've been quiet!

Hope to be back soon... maybe not posting... but at least getting around to read what everyone else is up to ...

Love of my life wanted, must love cats...

More tales of the Boomerang Boy
MFF: Hi, how are you?
BB: Not good, I tripped down the stairs and I've hurt myself
MFF: How did you do that?
BB: Mrs Boomerang's bloody cat was scratching my bag and I chased it and slipped
MFF: (laughing) - Oh poor you...
BB: Damn cat! I told her it had to go ... so she's given the cat to her mother
MFF: Seriously?
BB: Yep, told her either the cat went or I did
MFF: You know what I would have done if you said that to me, don't you?
BB: What?
MFF: Let me help you pack your bags sweetie...
BB: (laughing) See, that's why I didn't marry you!

Indiana has a blog post today about single women getting rid of their pets if they want to date! With the utmost respect to Indy, he can bugger off!

I've had pets all my life, and one of the things I missed most when I moved out of home was the presence of animals. I love cats and dogs, but do believe with my lifestyle that a dog would be an indulgence. But have two cats, getting Gertie the year I moved out, and then Gracie the following year to keep her company when my nephew moved out and she was spending a lot of time on her own.

We are a package deal... and I'm aware that there are men who do not like cats, which is why I tell prospective dates about mine early on... I'm not going to waste either his or my time if he has an allergy or an active dislike of them.

In the same way that I don't date men who have children but don't play a role in their lives (unless there are circumstances like distance etc. that prevent it) I wouldn't date a man who would expect me to give up my animals...

What the.....? Misunderstanding Men

It's really simple... Women speak subtle. Men do not.

It's that easy, you want a guy to know that you like him and you are interested in having him pursue and chase you, then you need to be less subtle...you don't want to be too obvious, but you need to be less subtle... Indiana

The above comment was left on my last post... You Say Potato, I Say Potato... Misunderstanding Men

And a few weeks ago Midwest posted about advice from Wombat on Kiss & Blog that goes as follows:

1. Don't initiate anything with a guy (not even friendship), ever
2. Don't initiate anything with a guy (not even friendship), ever
3. Don't initiate anything with a guy (not even friendship), ever

Is it any wonder that I am so totally ambivalent about dating!

I think I might do better becoming lesbionic... sigh....

You say potato, I say potato.... Misunderstanding Men...

More tales of the Boomerang Boy...

MFF: Hi, it's Frou

BB: Oh, hi - what can I do for you?

MFF: Um... is there something you wanted to ask me?

BB: No, why?

MFF: Ohhh... I'm sorry... I've been mistaken, sorry to bother you

BB: No, wait... what do you mean?

MFF: T said you had asked her if she thought I might go out with you if you asked. She's obviously playing some sort of game... trying to embarrass either you or me

BB: OH... no, that's right I did talk to her about it... what did you tell her?

MFF: I told her yes

(Awkward silence)

MFF: Umm... so... are you going to ask me?

BB: Ohhh... I thought you might ummm ask me....

MFF: B, why do you think I rang you in the first place?

BB: OH! Yeah... right... so you're asking me out... Cool!

I should have ran... I really, really should have...

And new tales of Boof...

Boof: Hi, what are you wearing?

MFF: Heah, you have no right to play those games...

Boof: Why?

MFF: Girlfriend, remember?

Boof: Oh yeah.. but nothing wrong with indulging in wishful thinking

MFF: You had your chance mate, and you blew it...

Boof: When did I have my chance? There was never a chance... was there?

MFF: What did you think I was doing all those nights hanging around at work till midnight sitting out on the back steps drinking coffee while you smoked?

Boof: Having a break from work?

MFF: And why did you think I volunteered to take the minutes for you when you were Football Club President?

Boof: You liked football?

MFF: And why was it that my girlfriends all accidentally bumped into us those nights at the pub and joined us?

Boof: Shit... they were checking me out! Seriously? You were interested in me?

MFF: You are an idiot!

Boof: But, but... that's not fair... I didn't know...

MFF: Doesn't matter now, does it... like I said you had your chance...

Email later in the day:

Boof:I still think you can't blow a chance you didn't know you had to begin with

MFF: Don't sulk, it doesn't become you...

And now for the Nature Boy

MFF: Can I ask you something? As a member of the male species, who knows me reasonably well?

NB: Sure!

MFF:Am I flirt? My girlfriends all claim I am a terrible flirt...

NB: No, not at all... you're very playful and full of banter but not at all flirtatious

MFF: Ok, thanks

MFF: (Unspoken thoughts) I seriously need to lift my game... cause for a brief while back in the beginning I actually was flirting with him... !


So, I'm pondering...

Are men clueless?

Or am I pathologically incapable of understanding them?

With my body I thee worship....

Boomerang Boy: She's a 'what you see is what you get' kind of girl
Miss Frou Frou: And I'm not?
BB: No way!
MFF: Seriously? What do you mean?
BB: You're like Forrest Gump's Chocolates... you never know what your going to get until you bite into it...
MFF: But you like chocolate?
BB: Yeah, but I want to know what kind it is before I eat it!

The above exchange took place about 4 years ago, as part of a discussion about the kind of relationship BB wanted into the future, and why he was marrying someone else, even though he still professed some feelings for me.

It lead to some interesting conversations with friends at the time, as I tried to understand what he meant. Most of my friends saying they thought I was open and honest and very much a 'what you see is what you get' kind of girl... though interestingly a conversation with MLF (my first love who I've known for over 25 years) was illuminating...

MFF: He said I wasn't a 'what you see is what you get' kind of girl
MFL: He's talking through his arse... you're a straight shooter
MFF: Thanks... even way back when we first meet and we were going through all that 'will we/ won't we' stuff of our relationship?
MFL: (silence - laughter) .... Oh yeah, I see his point...

All of this is playing out in my head at the minute, as B and S at work are dead keen on turning 'find Frou Frou a man' into their next project... wanting to put my profile up online etc. and I am so ambivalent about it all... and I'm wondering why I am so unenthusiastic...

What also keeps playing through my head is a conversation with Nature Boy earlier in the year.

NB: Do you realise every time the subject of men and relationships comes up you either snort dismissively or you do the eyeroll thing?
MFF: Yeah, well that's because the whole men/relationships thing and I don't fit very well ... always ends up in tears before bedtime
NB: You're not very confident about yourself, are you?
MFF: Oh, you've misunderstood. I am very confident... I know I am an amazing woman and some man would be extraordinarily lucky to have me.
NB: Umm... ok... (looking at me like I'm an alien)
MFF: Where I lack confidence is in the single men out there and they're ability to see me for the Goddess that I am...

Extra! Extra! Read all about it... Miss Frou Frou unmasked...

One of my favourite bloggers, Candid Karina recently posted her response to this great new meme.

The Rules: A blogger interviews you, and you post the answers on your own blog. Then you invite readers to volunteer to be interviewed, and you interview THEM, and they post it on their blog, and on and on we go...

I volunteered to be interviewed and below are Karina's great questions and my long-winded fluffy waffle in response... Anyone that would like me to interview them... leave a note in my comments...

1. First, let's get the obvious out of the way: Tell us the when, how and why about the birth of your blog.

I started blogging in February in a typically round and round the garden Frou Frou way... I met the Nature Boy just over 12 months ago... and almost from the get go we had these games of email tag. He's the King of short responses, a skill I've yet to master (no really - says everyone!) but he used to enjoy my mini-stories and general lunacy... and constantly encouraged me to write... something he continues to do... which is unbelievably lovely.

Around the same time, I happened across the blog Reasons You Will Hate Me and became an avid lurker, enjoying MsFits and her fans and detractors, Friday Q&A becoming a must read every Saturday morning over my Vitabrits. And from there started reading others, and got a bit of a hang for how this all worked... had heard of blogs but never read one... what can I say... I'm technically backward... only buying a DVD player a year ago, and cracking everyone up today trying to connect a USB to a laptop... but I digress...

So, started to think that blogging would actually suit me. I like writing, have always been comfortable with email as a form of keeping up with people, and blogging is just a way to do it on a much broader stage. Those that know me, say my emails are like having a conversation with me, reading my words and they hear my voice... and friends in RL who have read here say the same. (Though there aren't many RL friends reading anymore... or if they are they are lurking... come out, come out wherever you are).

2. Your blog name...explain please.

My friend Roz's former husband, K was a mad Englishman who introduced me to soccer, beer with lime, "Dirty Old Town" drunkenly sung, and the phrase... I used to be, but I'm alright now... every time you were making conversation and said something like "I/he/she/they/your like, want, are ....., etc. his response would be "I used to be .... but, but I'm alright now" often to much jocularity...

Try it...

You're nice... I used to be nice, but I'm alright now... She's skinny... I used to be skinny, but I'm alright now etc.

He did it so often, that I used to end the sentence for him, and then started saying it myself, something I still do...

3. So, you're a single woman, and have recently said you might be ready to get back out on the dating scene. You've told us what you would want in a man, but tell us, what are the things you miss most about relationships?

My relationships have always been unconventional, with none being similar to the others, and have spent more time single then coupled in my life.

What do I miss?

That lovely butterflies in your tummy feeling when you're going to see him, or you hear his voice... kisses... cuddles and hugs... someone to share the end of the day with (the mental debrief sharing tales of woe and silliness)... a sense of belonging, I'm his/ he's mine and the comfort that comes from that feeling... someone to scratch the middle of my back when it's itchy... and to tell me when I've tucked my skirt into my underpants again!

4. To borrow a question asked of me in my own interview, tell us about your worst date ever.

My first recollection on reading this was the date with a guy from the personals who seemed like a nice guy, but had unfortunate teeth... he had fangs! Though really, apart from the fact there was no way I was ever going to kiss that face, it wasn't a bad date.

So, my worst date... is complicated.

Around the same time I meet Vampire boy, I talked to Jay who turned out to live a couple of streets away, and ran a local myotherapy clinic. When I spoke to him, he was funny, quick, clever and a bit arrogant (all things that interest me) and he seemed really keen... particularly when in response to a question from him I told him I'd had over 100 responses and I was talking and meeting quite a few guys over the coming weeks. We talked a couple of times and then organised to meet for dinner at a local pizza place.

Sitting in the restaurant waiting for a stranger is always nerve-wracking... and my nerves only escalated when a very attractive, nicely dressed Jay wandered in and introduced himself. Now, I know I have wonderful qualities and that people love and have loved me... but Jay was just... I don't know... too good looking, too cool, too smooth, too confident... and in a weird way that calmed my nerves.

Figuring it was unlikely I'd ever go out with him again, I just relaxed and enjoyed myself. We had a great dinner, which he insisted on paying for and he offered to walk me to my car. On the walk to the car he said, I'd like to see you again, much to my surprise. I said I was busy for the next couple of weeks, which made him laugh, and he said - so how about I ring you in a fortnight. (I now realise this was all about Jay needing to stay on my list... not necessarily because of me, but a competition thing... he could choose not to see me, but didn't want me to cross him of my list of 100 - he used to constantly ask how many people were still on the list, and I used to laugh and say how do you know you have even made the list!)

Still, I was surprised when he did as he said and rang me in a fortnight, and asked me to come over to his place after he'd finished work one night... something I wasn't prepared to do at that point.

But he pushed, I want to see you again... so I said I was going out to a local Irish pub on Friday night with some friends, he could meet me there if he wanted to and in the conversation said to him, if you're going to be a bit uncomfortable about fronting up with a whole bunch of strangers you could bring along some of his friends.

Friday night... really, really crowded pub... hanging with my mates, keeping an eye out for Jay and I spotted him and said to Miss La De Da 'Oh there he is, the blonde in the leather jacket standing by the leadlight window' and she turned and looked and then turned back to me and said 'what - the guy with his tongue down somebodies throat?'.

??? I looked and sure enough he's deeply kissing a pretty young thing! Jay stopped, and then put his arm around her, and then another girl came up and the three of them went up to the bar, with the original girl hanging all over him.

MLDD said are you going to go up to him, and I said no, I'll let him come to me. And we sat there, and waited while he scanned the room looking for me, passing his gaze over me several times, but not actually making eye contact. It was like I was invisible, or else he had forgotten what I looked like...

This went on for almost an hour... he deep in conversation with both girls, occasionally scanning the room I'm assuming looking for me, and occasionally kissing the pretty blonde. And all the time I was sitting in plain view about 4 feet away from him. Eventually, Jay and the two girls left.

He rang me the following day... "Hi - what happened last night, I was there but didn't see you?". "I know" says I, "I saw you".

"Why didn't you come up?" says he. "You were a bit busy at the time" says I dryly. He laughed out loud... and then asked "What did your friends say?"

"My mate said you were a 'root rat'!" Again, he laughed. "Oh, I kick 'em first to make sure they're still breathing! What did you say to that?"

"I didn't care if he was a 'root rat' as long as I was the rat he was rooting!"

Again, he laughed... declaring I was the funniest girl he knew and he really wanted to see me again. To which I replied "Sorry, one of the things you need to know about me is I hate standing in queues".

I never dated him again, though he persisted for a few weeks, and for a couple of months we used to occasionally bump into each other around the neighbourhood. Haven't seen him for a few years, and the myotherapy clinic is gone... so don't know where he ended up.

5. If you could have dinner with any celebrity, alive or dead, who would it be, and why?

I'd like to host a dinner party (not cook... just host) and I'd invite:

Jamie Oliver and Nigella Lawson - they can have a cook off!
Kate Hepburn and Spencer Tracy - cause it would be nice to see them together one more time and Kate is my hero...
Robert Redford, Johnny Depp and George Clooney... gorgeous men who have/ do make interesting films and George cause he's the archetypal funny, quick, clever and a bit arrogant man...

Remember, if you want me to interview you, leave a not in comments.

Members wanted... The All Over the Shop Choir...

Can you - sing Soprano, Alto, Tenor and Bass, preferably all within the same verse?

Can you - when you can't remember the actual words, convincingly fluff around, emote and make weird vocal noises that imitate singing?

Can you - dance like a dork, completely out of rhythm with what you're actually singing, but nevertheless keep swinging those hips?

Can you - make mistakes in 2 out of 13 songs, but manage to ensure no-one in the audience notices?

Can you do all of these things and still have a ripsnorting, ripper of a time?

If this sounds like you, Miss Frou Frou and Miss La De Da, Choir Leaders
are recruiting for the All Over the Shop Choir...
experienced singers need not apply!

Life is too short for self hatred and celery sticks...

And so begins a new series of blog posts... My Life as a Bumper Sticker (Button/ T-shirt)...

I'm a big girl... as has been mentioned several times since this blog began... most notably in response to Sheila's comments about the Little, Fat, Funny Girl tag on the blog back in the early days... so I don't need to harp on the fact that I'm a short, lush, curvy, womanly woman... and fairly happy to be so.

BUT...

I don't obsess about my weight, rarely hop on the scales so it was a shock when I did spontaneously on Friday and realised I'd gained 3kgs since I last weighed myself and have gained close to 8 kgs over the last 12 months.

This is the heaviest I've been since a major change in my life 5 years ago saw me lose a tremendous amount slowly over a 12 month period... not because of dieting, just a change in eating habits and general lifestyle. I'm still a long way off my heaviest weight and don't imagine I'd go back to that... but I'm not feeling very healthy.

And I'm certainly aware since my brother's bout with kidney cancer in January, that being on the heavy side and not very fit is ok when your general state of being is wellness, when you are ill carrying extra poundage can have a significant impact on your ability to cope with ill-health.

My problem is that I've never been much of an exercise junkie... I like exercise that occurs as a result of some activity like dancing or going for a walk etc. but the thought of actually doing exercise for the sake of exercise just gives me the blahs... hence the treadmill parked in front of the TV for the last month has become a great place to hang the ironing... sigh...

It's also not that I eat too much... it's that I do not eat enough... I can go all day without any food at all, and don't often actually feel the sensation of hunger. I've fallen off the dieting wagon many a time because there is too much food to eat, not that there is too little...

As someone who is often distracted by some creative idea I can regularly forget to feed and water myself!

All of this is linked a lot to the fact that I'm so cerebral... I live in my head most of the time, rarely if ever acknowledging my physical self... until it turns on me and smacks me upside the head and says enough is enough... which is what it's doing at present... with ongoing viral problems and muscle fatigue and aches and pains.

I'm never going to be a slim girl... well - I could be if I hit the gym on a daily basis and existed on celery sticks and water... and that sure as eggs isn't ever likely to happen. And actually, don't think I'd want to be a skinny, skinny girl... I'm quite happy with my curves and bumps... even if they are rapidly heading earthward as gravity and mid-life sets in.

BUT... as well as feeling unwell there are a few too many lumps on my bumps at present for me to feel comfortable...that's vanity... and I'm happy to admit to it... and dropping those 8kgs would make me feel a whole lot better I suspect... both physically and psychologically.

I'm talking about getting back on the dating scene, and to be positive in that atmosphere means I need to feel positive about myself... at the minute, the only time I'd want to be naked with someone would be if he was blindfolded (tied to a bed would be good too... but that's a whole other blog post... )

So... I'm not dieting... I'm getting healthier... my friend S (who is studying for her personal trainer certificate) is making up an eating plan for me that is realistic... we looked at one of those services that supplies all your food, but most of it is that horrible plastic reheat in the microwave stuff.... yuk... yuk...

She's creating a plan that includes food I like to eat, that is easy to prepare for one... and will allow for me to go out for dinner etc. with friends, which I do a lot and don't want to stop doing.

As we work together she's going to act as my coach... reminding me to eat... often! And a group of us are starting to go for a daily walk at lunchtimes, which will be good for me on a number of levels as most days I work through lunch, grabbing a quick sandwich if I remember. I'm clearing the ironing off the treadmill and will at least try to use it every 2nd day... if only for half an hour...

And setting myself a target of going shopping in late November for a Frou Frou dress for our work Christmas Party... I'm going to buy myself something gorgeous, get my hair done... and then let my hair down... and party the night away... preferably with a nice boy who likes blindfolds and being tied to the bedpost... !

Night and day.... dum, de de dum....

"I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day"... Vincent Van Gogh

Have you ever realised how much the world is designed for 'morning people'...

I am not a morning person... never have been. My mother laughingly tells the story of me as a school aged child, and later as a young working woman living at home, she would awake to the alarm, get up, come in and prompt me to get up, have a shower, prompt me to get up, feed animals, prompt me to get up (by this stage very loudly), have breakfast, prompt me to get out of the shower (where I was usually half asleep under the spray), put a load of washing on the line, and then discover me staring dreamily into space, sitting on the end of my bed, with a towel wrapped around me and one sock on...

When I lived at home, there was someone to keep me moving and active, if still in a zombie-like state, and hustle me out of the house and onto school or work. For many years, I drove my mother to work on my way in, and was therefore forced to keep a particular schedule, which was probably a good thing, as I also had jobs that required me to open up the office or to start a shift.

At the same time there was also someone to prompt me to go to sleep... when us kids and Dad was still at home, I disappeared to my room early... usually to listen to music on headphones in the dark... till the wee small hours... or to read... until I nodded off over a book or my Mum came in to screech that it was 2.00am and if I didn't turn my light off I wouldn't get up in the morning.

In one of my early jobs as a mailsorter, in order to get to work on Friday mornings for a 7.00am start, that required catching a 6.00am bus, I would set my alarm for 4.00am, get up, shower, make coffee, and then hop back into bed semi-clothed for an hour or so, listening to music so I could be awake enough to trust myself to leave the house.

At the Architectural practice when some bright spark the Managing Director, decided to schedule marketing meetings for 7.00am so they'd be over before the workday started, I declared the only way they'd get me there was if they supplied breakfast... so there was a danish and a coffee waiting for me... and I'd arrive with dripping wet hair and no makeup and converse in growls and grunts until my brain woke up. The same deal was negotiated with my summer school classmates a couple of years ago, if they wanted to start the day earlier, they needed to provide me with caffeine... and there was a different boy waiting patiently with coffee and a donut each day as I dragged my arse across the campus, bleary-eyed and ragged.

So... it's not a recent thing that my body clock is out of whack with what most people would consider the norm... But, living on my own, I can indulge myself a lot more.

There are days now when I have been up and prepared for work, but I have to lie down for 15-30 minutes, sometimes even an hour and then I will feel up to facing the day... those days are usually when I haven't woken up before the alarm has gone off. I don't respond well to alarm clocks or being frightened awake... it's like my system goes into shock or something, and it's almost impossible for me to bound out of bed and race into the day.

"Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do)"... Dorothy Parker

But the world is not kind to us night owls...

At one workplace with an agreed core hours that varied between 7.00am - 7.00pm, 2 colleagues were able to negotiate 7.30am - 4.30pm workdays, but I was told that I couldn't work a 10.00am - 6.00pm day... it was too inconvenient...

This was despite the fact that I had been able to work the same hours for 5 years prior under a previous manager... and because other departments were working till 9.00pm, we had a much better coverage of hours, often for the last hour or more of the day I was the only one in the office.

I'm lucky now, in that I have a boss who is understanding of my early morning struggles, and accommodates me, knowing that I keep track of my hours. Though there have been grumblings from some workmates, who fail to acknowledge that while they're out the door at 5.00pm on the dot, I'm often one of only a handful of people still in the office at 6.00pm... and often hitting my stride workwise about 3.00pm!

It's not even the work situation that annoys me most. It's the remarks by friends and acquaintances... the snide remarks and suggestions of laziness... that I am wasting time, that I should be doing something productive with my daylight hours...

I'm not lazy... I'm at my most productive, when most people are nodding off for the evening. Just because getting up at the crack of dawn rocks your boat, doesn't mean I have to... actually most of these bright and shiny, happy morning people are also those scary pod-people who confess to liking camping, and 5k runs in the pre-dawn.

I'm not wasting time... I am usually doing a pretty good imitation of the 'living dead' before midday... so why wouldn't I choose to actually sleep during that unproductive time.

You want to wake me up early, it better be because more than the sun is up, and you want to indulge in exercise of the carnal kind... and even then, you need to be gentle about it... otherwise... bugger off!

I've discovered over the last few days at home, that it is not so much that I suffer from insomnia, it is that my system doesn't need to sleep until well after midnight... and if I am allowed to wake naturally, I am able to be awake, and reasonably alert without much strain or effort by about 9.30am. And a 30-60 minute nap mid afternoon is more than enough to keep me feeling calm, centred and rested.

And it would be nice, when we're talking about endangered species that someone would give a shout out to us 'Night Owls' and recognise that we too need to be protected... Night Owls of the world... stand up and be proud!

"Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?
A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”... Groucho Marx

TO DO LIST:
* Get a job that starts at midday and finishes at 8.00pm
* Preferably somewhere that celebrates siesta
* The next time someone jokes about giving me an early morning wake up call... let them... then ring them at midnight and babble for an hour

I've got the music in me...

Oh, wow... hard to tell you all about Saturday, except that it was the most magical experience.

I still will not profess to being much of a singer, have no idea whether I stayed on pitch or not, but I was able to follow all of the instructions from our Choir Director, Vicki King, even when she mucked up at one stage and didn't give us our cue for a verse of a song... a minor glitch that only the choir and soloist noticed.

Was on the verge of tears several times, but managed to keep it together... though all of the soloists coming back onstage to reprise My Island Home at the end had me blinking rapidly and squeezing Miss La De Da's hand tightly.

I struggled a little with my back injury and sore feet from standing up, but the pain disappeared the minute we stood on stage, and started to sing... and then returned with a vengeance once I got off stage... hence this reasonably short blog post and still being a bit tardy in getting around to catch up with everyone else's blogs.

Am home for a couple of days, mostly sleeping and reading and doing some applique while watching TV, with the heatpack applied. OH - and attempting to dye my hair back to the chocolate brown colour that I was 12 months ago has left me an interesting shade of maroon/brown/red! I like it - it matched my t-shirt!

If you want to listen to some of the amazing soloists and musicians who played with us on Saturday, check these out - most have music you can listen to online.

Akasa - made up of Vicki King, Diana Clark, Heidi Bradburn, Andrea Watson - sang Walking Song and Vicki sang lead on Walk with Me with the choir... that's one of my blubber songs!
Kavisha Mazzella - I am such a fan of this woman and her music now... go down to the bottom of the page and listen to a track from her album... hope to see her at Darebin Music Feast
Diana Clark - sang Breathe into Time, and also sang two songs with the choir.
Doug de Vries - brilliant guitarist... played Elegy for Rita
Tali White - wrote a wonderful song called "Wave Building" especially for the choir, as he said, think mix between rock opera and bollywood and you'd have a bit of a feel for it... he is a bit of a whirling dervish... Tali is involved with The Guild League and The Lucksmiths
Valanga Khoza - sang Thula Mama with the choir - another emotional song... gorgeous, gorgeous voice
Paulo Almeida from the Dili Allstars - sang with the choir on O Hele Le
Lou Bennett - oh, wow... she was amazing... sang Lingmarra with us at the start of the concert and then came back to do the most emotional version of My Island Home with us... I'm hoping to see her during the Darebin Music Feast
Liz Frencham - played Double Bass and taught the crowd and the choir a lovely song that we sang along with
Ron Murray - wowed us with his didgeridoo... both in the opening song, Lingmarra and later in the encore of My Island Home

There were others, including a performance by The West Papuan Culture Group that was very moving... and the wonderful Dani Fry belting out a great gospel track with us.

Now, all I need to do is go chasing up albums for all these wonderful people, and prepare for concert two on Friday night... still plenty of tickets available for any Melbourne readers... not so many of us singing this time ... only about 160! Miss La De Da and I have been having a quiet nightmare about her and I being the only Alto 1's in attendance...

Ain't got no troubles in my life, no foolish dreams to make me cry, I'm never frightened or worried, I know I'll always get by... I've got the music in me, I've got the music in me....

Blogindipity strikes again! Found this quiz at Chicken-Scratch... I can live with this one!


You are Schroeder!
Take this quiz!

It's the end of the world as we know it....

You know what they say, it's not over
till the fat lady sings.... guess what?

Yes, tomorrow is the big day... first Choir Concert - which is sold out... 450 seated and approx. 200 standing... and me and 250+ of my closest friends singing up a storm...

Sorry I've been a bit out of the loop this week... at rehearsal last Sunday I pulled a muscle in my back that has seen me very, very uncomfortable sitting, standing and lying down all week.. so I've limited my time on the computer...

Who knows what I'll be like tomorrow night after about 8 hours of standing... most of which will be singing... or at least pretending to sing... am still struggling a bit with the phrasing of one of the songs... so can expect a bit of mumbling and fudging tomorrow...

Some of the songs we are singing are so haunting beautiful that I cry when I sing them... so will be interesting to see what it's like tomorrow on stage... more like others will be crying at my singing!

Anyway, will promise to catch up with everyone soon...

Your heard it here first, folks.... I iz complex!

You're Watership Down!
by Richard Adams
Though many think of you as a bit young, even childish, you're actually incredibly deep and complex. You show people the need to rethink their assumptions, and confront them on everything from how they think to where they build their houses. You might be one of the greatest people of all time. You'd be recognized as such if you weren't always talking about talking rabbits.

Take the Book Quiz at the Blue Pyramid.

No - I iz crazy!

Anyone remember Harvey?

Nothing to see here folks... am exhausted, but excited...

Choir concert in 5 more sleeps... and then 3 days of solitary bliss... not sure what pleases me more to be honest - this spending time with people thing is hard work!

I should be...

I should be...

1. Doing Housework
2. Doing ironing for the week ahead
3. Practising the Tahitian song of welcome that I'm struggling with for choir
4. Working on the short story I'm thinking of submitting to SPICE briefs that Shiloh mentioned on her blog
5. Or getting down on paper the idea that came through yesterday's meditation ... we meditated on the Knight of Cups (the Knight in Shining Armour of legend) and I had the loveliest meditation about a strange, geeky girl... would make a very sweet historical
6. Doing some more work on The Wishlist - haven't written a word in weeks - this is why I didn't do Sven!
   
7. Working on the CFA Bushfire Quilt projects
   

Instead I'm trawling the blogosphere, and suggesting you go and check out Post Secrets - this project always makes me laugh, cry, sigh and generally feel that us homo sapiens are a weird lot, but worth it...

And Solitaire's the only game in town...

Miss Frou Frou -- [noun]: A hermit living in the big city 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

How weird is this? Though I'm pretty sure the meanings are random, if I put Miss Frou Frou in more than once, I'd get more than one answer... but still this is a bit weird... considering my current mood...

With 8 weeks of Sunday choir rehearsals, and meditation classes and catching up with friends and other social activities and work I'm getting a bit frazzled...

Am seriously looking forward to next weekend, after the first two Choir Concerts, and a friends birthday party on Saturday night ... I have 3 days off... am going to spend them on my own, I hope... not speaking... shut away in my little bolthole... I'm not sure if I can wait that long...

This is what worries me most I think about having a serious relationship with someone else, my need for solitude... which can come on unexpectedly at times... will someone understand my need to regularly hibernate... to be still and quiet?

Though Jeni B, my tarot reader/ teacher keeps telling me that the 'right' person will understand that need, and more than likely have the same need. She keeps reminding me of a theme through my meditations over the last 2 years of myself, in a little cottage, in a room that is mine, with my books and crafty things and an open fire and a desk by the window at which I write. And in all of those meditations, there is either someone working alone in another room, or someone else close by... a footfall at the door, a shadow, the anticipation of someone expected... sigh... I wish...


Of course, in the Tarot, the Hermit symbolises much of these feelings. A time to withdraw, to be introspective in order to gain perspective. Soul-searching, time for self-illumination, truth and wisdom of the higher self. It can also represent a guide, a wise woman/man offering others that same illumination, truth and wisdom. I sometimes wonder if I'm meant to take both meanings, I'm definitely someone who searches my soul... but am I also required to share the results of that soul-searching?


Note: When I put in my real name I was told that it means "tastes like chicken"... lol

Someone to watch over me....

There’s a saying old, says that love is blind
Still we’re often told, "seek and ye shall find"
So I’m going to seek a certain lad I’ve had in mind...

Although he may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To my heart he carries the key

Won’t you tell him please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh, how I need
Someone to watch over me...
Someone to Watch Over Me...George Gershwin

Well it seems the general consensus is that I should go for it... this online dating thing...especially as some of you think I should share all the gory details of my quest... so in fact, I'm being selfless and doing this for you!

Have been thinking a lot about what kind of man/men I'd like to meet, what would make my heart go ping... and other body parts reverberate...and prompted to think even more following some recent blog posts... doesn't help that I've been listening to Ella Fitzgerald sing the Gershwin Songbook... boy that man could write a melancholy love song...

Mez recently discussed Love or List?... should you make a list of attributes that you might want in a partner, and what if people don't meet the requirements of the list. And Indiana talked about that Dreaded Question - why are you still single? and gave what I think is a wonderfully succinct and heartfelt response "I am yet to meet someone I can rely on to be both there for me and to be the person I need, not just want. I am yet to meet someone whom I can believe enough in to give up my own total self-reliance"

And so, we come to me, and what is it that I am looking for - I've mentioned different things in this blog since I started in February... most recently stating I yearn for someone who gets me... someone who is clever and funny and kind and kooky ... and wants to wrestle naked...no doubt I'll be doing some more thinking about this but here goes...

ADDENDUM: Need to clarify the list below is not a checklist, have no plans to meet someone and then determine whether they are right or wrong based on the below... I'm someone who goes a lot more on gut or intuition in my responses to people, both male and female. It's just a bit of fun about my ideal man... and by putting the desire out there into the universe I'll be curious to see how many of these attributes can be found... though the Naughty, Lusty, Kissable and Available things are non-negotiable!

I do think it's interesting that the commentors to date who have expressed horror have all been male... lol

The ABCs - Miss Frou Frou's Ideal Bloke needs to be:

Available - both physically and emotionally - i.e. live within in a reasonable distance, and actually single
Blokey - I actually don't mind blokey blokes - the blokier they are, the more girlie I become
Clever - not looking for a Mensa candidate, but someone who can hold their own conversationally on a gamut of interests
Dependable - I don't mean a doormat, but if you say you're going to do something, you do it or least let me know if you can't
Employed - don't care what you do, but you need to have some form of work, preferably something that you are passionate about. If you have a mundane job that provides an income for you to follow your muse, that's ok too...
Funny - if you make me laugh, you've almost won me over...
Grounded - for all that I enjoy foolishness, I want someone who has a clear idea of who he is and what he wants, partly cause I need someone to pull me back to earth on occasion
Honest - I will forgive most things, but not lies
Imaginative - linked to funny, clever, lusty, naughty and uninhibited... use your imagination
Juggler - capable of keeping several balls up in the air, work, family, hobbies, me...
Kissable - kissing is important... but I'm not a girl who will kiss someone just because... I need to want to kiss you... and you need to want to kiss me - often!
Lusty - sorry, have no interest in having a purely cerebral relationship... you need to want to play - often!
Manly - I like guys who are masculine - and all that means, not prissy, not afraid to get their hands dirty, a bit hairy, hard in all the right places.
Naughty - I'm pretty open about a lot of things... anyone who is a bit on the conservative side just makes me want to be more and more outrageous
Open Minded- I like odd things... am very tolerant and interested in all sorts of people, you'd need to be a bit the same or we'd bump heads
Persuasive - I'm a hard nut to crack... confess to being high maintenance - you'd need to be somewhere between persistent and pushy - if you pushed to hard, particularly if you dictated, I'm out of here...
Quixotic/ Quirky - fanciful, impulsive, unpredictable but all in a good way
Romantic - not your traditional hearts and flowers type romantic (though that's nice) but someone who would see the romance in small things ... dancing with me around the house, making me a special mix tape, picking flowers out of the garden, singing me to sleep
Sane - while I walk a fine line between slightly eccentric and raving lunatic - you'd need to be well versed in the land of common sense and practicality, but prepared to let go of all that on occasion and come over to my side for awhile
Tactile - I'm a touchy feely girl, when I'm comfortable with someone... think cat... I purr when I'm stroked...
Uninhibited - puritanical and prudish just does not cut it
Verbal - I need to talk, and need someone to talk to... if your main form of communication is grunting, I am not the girl for you
Wise - again, not talking about a Mr Smartpants, but someone who is worldly and discerning.
X Rated - linked to funny, clever, lusty, naughty and uninhibited... I told you already - use your imagination!
Young at Heart - am over the much younger boy thing, but I'm still not quite grown up yet, so am attracted to men who are a bit childlike... not terrible two's childlike... not in to tantrum throwing... just playful
Zany - if you can't see the absurd in things, how on earth are you going to love and treasure me for the dingbat that I am?

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy....

Two of my favourite people are having birthdays today... so this is just a blogosphere shout out to both of them!

Moon Girl - she of the wicked sense of humour, shopping centre pimpage and the healthy and nutritious lunches, I luvs ya ...

But if you bring pom poms to the choir concert I'm going to squash you like a bug next time I see you... Happy Birthday....

And it's also the Nature Boy's big day... he of the un-Leo like persona, great food recommendations, snarky elitism and general weirdness normalcy.

I keep telling him if I ever get anything published I'm going to acknowledge him in the dedication pages... this will have to do for now!

Birthdays Rock.... now where's the bloody cake!

Death by Dating...

"How many of you have ever started dating
because you were too lazy to commit suicide?"... Judy Tenuta

I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I'm pretty sure I'm about to get back onto the online dating merry-go-round... argh...

Over the last couple of weeks there have been several conversations with friends at work about how to get me out there meeting people. For the most part, my close friends are female, those male friends that I have are either married or in relationships or frankly clueless... seriously, have never seen the benefits of having male friends who can hook you up with their mates... this has never happened to me!

Of course, when pressed over the last couple of weeks about the type of guy I'd like to meet I've been at a bit of a loss... oh, I'd really like to meet a man who attracts me, who is equally attracted to me, but will facilitate between interest and total disinterest over a number of years, and basically treat me badly, and then tell me that he values our friendship... cause at least then I'd know what to expect!

"They keep saying the right person will come along,
I think mine got hit by a truck"... anonymous

I have no idea who the right person is... so when Ms B. at lunch the other day said we should put you up onto a well known singles site to say I was a bit ambivalent would be an understatement. Though she has said when she returns from holidays in two weeks we'll take some photos and work on a profile - so she wants me to think about what I'd like to say.

"A good woman is worth, if she were sold, the fairest crown that's made of purest gold"... John Wodroephe

I've not had much success with this before. I did ok with the newspaper based personals, where you had a print ad, and then people could ring and leave a voice message. Well I did ok at getting a lot of responses, even if it was mostly lots of first dates.

As I said to Ms. Chief at dinner tonight... I'm obviously good at marketing but not necessarily at sales... can get them in with the razzle dazzle, but rarely close the deal. Though in all honestly, it was often me who backed out rather than them...

Problem with these online things is they are so regimented and restrictive... a virtual shopping list of features, single, separated, divorced, even married. Wants kids, has kids, doesn't like kids. Slim, athletic, average, a bit overweight, largish... interestingly I rarely see men describe themselves as largish... even when it's obvious from their photo's that they are! Smoker, non-smoker. Political and religious persuasion. Do you want 'em young, old, short, tall - living within a 10 klm radius or interstate. What kind of music do they like? What about movies? Books? Sport?

Apparantly 2/3rd of the male population of Australia love The Shawshank Redemption, rarely read anything other than the newspaper and think enjoying going camping often is a positive thing (I'll write a whole other post about the likelihood of ever seeing Miss Frou Frou pitching a tent and peeing in the woods)

"A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are"... Chauncey Depew

But still... there's a part of me that would like to meet someone... a yearning... to share... to have someone to belong to... someone who gets me... someone who wants to wrestle naked...

Someone who is clever and funny and kind and kooky ... and wants to wrestle naked...

"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her"... Agatha Christie

And I'd really like to meet this clever, funny, kind, kooky naked wrestler before all my soft and wobbly bits slip and bunch up around my ankles!

The last time I advertised in the personals it said this:

Before I turn 46 - next March -
I would like to make love (as often as possible)
with a man I like a lot - last 6 words are the important part!!!

ME? 45, funny (both funny haha and funny weird at times). Smart, without being a show off or know-it-all. A great conversationalist, can guarantee to provide opportunities for weird and wacky conversations. Genuinely curious about how the male mind (and other bits) works. I'm not stunning, but you wont need a paperbag either. Am not slim, but as long as you don't try to carry me across a threshold I doubt you'd sustain any serious damage. I don't bite, unless you say please first.

The wording was quite deliberately provocative... a male friend had looked at my original draft and said I was too subtle and men didn't do subtle. So this was my attempt at being direct and still there was confusion, with most people reading the opening paragraphs as... blah, blah, blah, make love (as often as possible), blah, blah, blah - which translated further into she's up for it... sex, sex, sex!

I pulled the pin after a month or so, as I got sick of explaining the intent behind the words... though I did meet 1 guy for a dinner who then rang me a week later to say he liked me a lot and was 'strangely aroused' at dinner.... had I deliberately tried to turn him on? Ummm... that would be a no...

So considering my experience to date... what do you reckon? How do you like my chances if I used something like this? Of course, easiest thing to do would be to get prospective suitors to read this blog... if they read my mad scramblings and were still interested I'd be interested in meeting them, if only to see just how crazy they were!

Six Degrees of Miss Frou Frou....

Is my life both ordinary and bizarre? Discuss!

Most of you have heard of Six Degrees of Separation, a theory that all of us can be connected within 6 degrees. And there is the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon... a game devised by college students where you try to link actors to the actor Kevin Bacon in the least number of degrees.

Well... I think something similar has been happening to me over the last few years... but particularly in the last 12 months.

Case Study One: Boomerang Boy was a bit obsessive about keeping me a secret... while I would occasionally speak to them on the phone when I rang him as he was still living at home when we first met, I never met his parents, only ever going to his house when his parents where away.

But I had met Xena - the family dog... a gorgeous malamute with distinctive markings... the lighter markings on her face were all around her muzzle, so she looked a bit like the Joker from Batman - a permanent smile etched on her face. I used to call her Xena the smiley dog.

Mum's cat Scully had to have an amputation of part of her paw at the 24 hour emergency vet one Sunday evening, and as I collected her the next morning, a very distinctive dog bounded out of the next examination room being dragged by an attractive older woman and danced all round a distinguished gentleman waiting in the waiting room. I recognised the dog... and as I stood at the counter confirmed that yes this must be BBs Mum and Dad when I saw the name on the credit card she used to pay the bill.

To say that BB was slight horrified is an understatement! The telephone conversation that evening went a bit like this:

MFF: What's wrong with Xena? Why was she at the vet's today?

BB: What drugs are you on? She wasn't at the vet today!

MFF: Are you sure about that?

BB: Mum! Did you take Xena to the vet today?

BBs Mum: Yes, she needed her shots

BB (quietly): How did you know that?

MFF : I was there!

BB (still quiet): What did you say to them?

MFF (brightly): What do you think I said?
Hi, Mr and Mrs Boomerang - I'm the woman shagging your very much younger son!

BB (audibly gulping)

MFF (laughing till I made myself hiccup)


Case Study Two: - I am working in a role that was vacated by someone who took a similar position at another government authority in April last year. The person who replaced me at the role I left in April last year, had worked in the role that my predecessor had taken.

That's right... we had done a triangular shift... the 3 of us effectively shuffling places... with some small stopovers along the way... I've joked that in 2 years or so, we should all do it again!

On a related note, a guy who took over my role at my last job for about 9 months 4 years ago, sat at my table at a Conference in Sydney earlier in the year... he left my work and took a similar role to my current position at a similar organisation.

Case Study Three: Boomerang Boy again... he is now married, and I haven't seen him since just before his wedding 5 years ago. I've never met his wife, as far as I'm aware, she does not know that I exist, that whole secret thing again... so it's been a bit disconcerting to discover that 2 people I know (a former work colleague and a current work colleague) have worked for the same organisation that she worked at - in one case, in the same department!

Case Study Four: - First day at choir rehearsals, I looked around the hall at the 150+ people there and noticed a couple of familiar faces. One was N - a Health and Safety Representatives from my last job, the other was P - a woman I had been affiliated with when I worked for an agency providing support for children with disabilities in childcare services between 1990-1995. Two rehearsals later, another face walks past me and I think who is that? This was M - someone else I had known back during that time working in children services.

Following week standing around in the teabreak I said hi to N and realised she was standing with P and M! How did they know each other? N & M have been sopranos together for the last 3 choirs and have become friends. P lives near N and gives her a lift to rehearsal each week. So not only did I bump into 3 people from different times in my life, these 3 people all know each other because of separate connections!

Case Study Five: - last Saturday I went on a Chocolate Tour through the city ... a social club activity I organised at work. My mate FBG came along with me, which was fun... but again, the 6 degrees of Miss Frou Frou at work... turns out FBG knew Nature Boy's girl because they both worked in similar roles for two different organisations in the late 90s and knew each other because they were part of the same professional association. I have known FBG for 17 years and Nature Boy and his girl less than 12 months. One of the reasons I wanted FBG to meet NB was because from the beginning he has reminded me very strongly of her... they have a similar conversational style... and they both make me smile... often...

Now you might not think any of this is odd... but you need to understand, Melbourne is not a small hick town... we have a population of well over 3 million people... and its starting to seem likely that in some way or another, I'm going to eventually meet all of them!

THINGS TO DO:

Start playing connect the dots